Conscious Parenting: Mindfulness Tips Teens Wish Parents Knew

By Natalie Freeburn

As a high school mindfulness teacher, I enjoy guiding, practicing, and applying mindfulness techniques along with my students. Seeing them learn about themselves as they grow their mindfulness practice teaches me about them daily. Every year, however, my students tell me I should teach a mindfulness class for parents and guardians, too. So, I’ve asked them, what have you learned in this class that you would most like them to know? If adults can practice tuning inward and grounding themselves when they are faced with challenging situations or strong emotions, it becomes easier for us to teach our children to do the same. 

Navigating Emotions

As human beings, we all experience a full range of emotions, but identifying how we feel at any given moment can be easier said than done. Of course, it’s easier to allow ourselves the space to feel emotions that are pleasant or acceptable to societal norms. What happens, though, when we’re feeling unpleasant emotions such as anger, sadness, anxiety, or boredom?  When we don’t allow ourselves to feel what we feel, it can have many unintended consequences. Avoiding unpleasant feelings with cover-up behaviors is not uncommon. It can be hard to turn inward and admit what we are actually feeling and understand what those feelings are trying to tell us. Many people avoid uncomfortable feelings with distracting behaviors or negative choices. Oftentimes, people act as though they are angry, but when they look deeper, they may find they are feeling ashamed, disrespected, embarrassed, or hurt. Anger is more accessible and acceptable, especially for many boys who are told to “man up” or “don’t be a baby.” We need to be allowed to acknowledge the deeper, more vulnerable emotions. All feelings are normal, human, and okay to feel, however uncomfortable they may be. It can be helpful to think of our feelings as clouds—ever-changing, and some more pleasant than others. Some linger for a long time like the gray of a winter day; some come and go like a passing storm; some are beautifully full of color. When we are feeling unpleasant emotions, remember that eventually, like the clouds, it won’t always be this way. This can be helpful to remember when we feel stuck in an unpleasant emotion like anxiety or boredom—but leaning in to acknowledge the emotion is the first step in loosening its grip. 

Accept and Allow All Feelings

One great way to utilize mindfulness is to recognize one’s emotions in order to deal with them, which is a practice Dr. Daniel Siegal calls, “Name it to Tame it.” Consider our feelings like a very excited toddler who has something important to tell you. The sweet child won’t stop begging for attention until what they are trying to say is repeated out loud. Once they are acknowledged, they feel heard, and they move on. Likewise, when we avoid acknowledging an unpleasant feeling, it tends to linger on until confronted. What we resist, persists. Therefore, model being vulnerable with your feelings around your kids. Talk about how you’re feeling, especially when you are feeling unpleasant. This act of vulnerability is not a sign of weakness but demonstrates your humanity to your kids, and it opens the doors for them to be open and vulnerable with you as well. Children and teens often hold difficult feelings inside all day when they are away from home.  For many, home is often their safe space where they feel they can be themselves and still be accepted, because of this they often let it all out on the family or trusted loved ones. While this is hard and often creates tension at home, kids do this because they feel safe. As their parent, we should stay grounded, allow for some space, and then get curious about what’s really going on. Try staying calm and open, centered, taking a moment to pause before proceeding. 

Power of the Pause

People typically act how they feel to some extent. When people feel right, they act right. However, when the emotions are less positive, having a personal meditation practice can help parents center themselves and avoid reacting rather than responding. Allowing time to pause when feeling annoyed, angry, or frustrated to think about how to respond rather than react out of strong emotion takes time and practice. Although hitting the pause button is difficult, kids are asked to do it all of the time. So, model this, “I’m so frustrated with your behavior right now. I need some time to cool off and then we’ll come back to it.” Or if you see your teen getting revved up, offer them time to step away for a moment. This lets our thinking brain and feelings brain reconnect; otherwise, we end up saying things that don’t work toward discovering the root of the problem. 

Read related article:Where the Rubber Meets the Road: Strategies for the Emotional Challenges of Parenting — Helping Children Adjust to a New Sibling

Listen With Compassion and Without Judgment

Growing up is hard. Our teens face immense amounts of pressure to “succeed” in all areas of their lives. This pressure doesn’t only come from external sources like parents, teachers, coaches, and the media, but they are constantly comparing themselves to each other and putting additional pressure on themselves. All this while trying to figure out who they are, what they stand for, and where they fit in. It can feel hard and messy at times. From teaching, I have learned not to assume I know what’s going on in the lives of my students. Kids and teens can be very open and honest when they are given the space to say what’s on their minds without the fear of being judged or ridiculed. Try asking questions about how something might pan out to get them thinking of things they may not consider instead of judging them or offering advice. This helps them process and come to conclusions on their own and helps them build confidence in their ability to make difficult decisions. 

Allow Space to “Mess Up”

We are all human. We all make mistakes. One of the top contributing factors to anxiety and students feeling hopeless is the fear of failure. Sometimes, fear is so great it prevents people from taking healthy risks such as contributing to discussions, talking to unfamiliar people, saying the wrong thing when making a phone call to schedule an appointment, or facing a challenge. A student once told me her mom calls mistakes “learning opportunities.”  Wise advice! As a parent, it’s hard to see our kids struggle, and we want them to be successful and feel joy. However, we must allow our kids to feel disappointed, bored, and frustrated with low-stakes problems in life so that they may learn how to cope when life gets more challenging. When we “fix” problems for them, we rob them of the belief that they are capable of working through problems on their own. Becoming aware of how you respond to your own mistakes and how you react when your kids inadvertently mess up is more valuable. Responding with kindness, compassion, calmness, and blamelessness, allows them (and ourselves) the space to think about how to work through a mistake or problem, whether we process together or independently, can be one of the biggest gifts we can give them on how to handle the challenges they will face in adulthood. 

Natalie Freeburn is a high school Family and Consumer Science, Mindfulness, and Careers in Education teacher in Saline, MI. She can be reached at freeburn@salineschools.org

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Crysta Goes Visiting, Spring 2021

By Crysta Coburn

Erin Berger and the Bookend Candle Co.

“I have always loved reading, collecting books, and visiting libraries. There’s nothing like immersing yourself in a good book,” said Erin Berger, the woman behind Ypsilanti-based Bookend Candle Co. You and me both, friend!

Originally from Garden City, Berger attended grad school at Eastern Michigan University, where she “grew to love Ypsilanti, especially the (surprisingly affordable) old houses.” The year following completing her master’s degree in historic preservation, she bought her home in the Historic District. As for starting her own home-based candle business, she said, “I remember attending DIYpsi in the summer of 2017 and thinking about how amazing the artists were and what in the world could I create to take part in the event. Later that year, I decided to start what would become Bookend Candle Co.”

Berger is a self-taught candlemaker. “I learned through trial and error and many nights spent in deep dives on candle-making forums,” she said. “But the best part is that for every candle that doesn’t make the cut, I still get to burn it myself.” Deciding on a name was difficult, she said, “until [she] looked around at [her] collection of candles interspersed throughout the shelves and stacks of books” of her home. “Most were functioning as impromptu bookends. And that was it; Bookend Candle Co. had a name.”

Her candles are 100% soy made without dyes or phthalates. “I do my best to offer the highest quality product in terms of performance, safety, and sustainability,” Berger explained. “I have asthma myself and don’t want to be breathing in harmful chemicals. I would never sell a product that is not up to my own standards, so I use as natural components as possible and buy from vendors I trust. Our tagline is ‘realistically scented and ethically made,’ and I take that to heart.”

Learn more on Facebook at ValiantRealtyMI

Some of the scents in the Signature Collection are Breathe Easy (scent notes: camphor, eucalyptus, and mint), Rare Book Room (scent notes: cedarwood, leather, and vanilla), and Mountainside Cabin (scent notes: balsam, cedar, and wood-burning fireplace). There is also a Spring and Summer Collection with names like Spring Meadow, Kitchen Garden, and Seaside Cottage. If you are in a situation where you can’t burn candles, there are also wax melts and reed diffusers.

All of these names evoke in me a sense of comfort and relaxation. Berger shared that one thing that inspires her business is “being able to provide people with a sense of comfort and happiness through scent.” She went on to say, “My goal is to transport you to a different place or time. Hearing one of my candles reminds someone of time spent as a child with a grandparent no longer with them makes it all worth it.”

For more information and a list of shops that carry Bookend Candle Co. products, visit www.bookendcandleco.com. Bergen can be contacted at erin@bookendcandleco.com or via Instagram @bookendcandleco.

Lyanna Bennett and Mystic Creations

Lyanna Bennett has moved around a lot in her life, but she is putting down roots in Ann Arbor. She told me, “I fell in love with Ann Arbor after spending a lot of time here in my early 20s and finally decided to settle in one place.” And her specialties certainly fit right in with our community.

“I first discovered mysticism when I was 12 years old,” she shared with me. “I was fascinated by the supernatural nature of it. Spells and potions and magickal beings were what drew me in, but it brought me to the concept of natural healing, herbalism, and spiritual guidance, which is what led me toward the path I am on today … offering services to the community reading tarot, runes, and tea leaves, as well as offering advice on alternative healing methods.” Bennett is mostly self-taught, but, she said, “I did go to college to learn more about plants and the human body in order to know more about how natural medicine works.” 

The drive to help people is what inspires her. “I have always been drawn to serve others,” she said. “I was a home health aid for many years, I have always worked in some sort of customer service industry, and I even thought about going into the military to be a medic.” Bennett is also motivated to make her spiritual practices a central part of her life. “I do think we all find the path that we are meant to be on,” she said. 

The name Mystical Creations came to Bennett one day after working for a metaphysical store in Lansing. In addition to offering private readings, Bennett plans to soon add “online courses ... covering everything from the basics of witchcraft to divination techniques, properties of herbalism, advanced magick, the philosophy of magick, and many more.”

Right now, you can find Bennet offering tarot cards and runic divination readings at Evenstar’s Chalice in Ypsilanti. 

To make an appointment, visit facebook.com/lyannabennett.mystic or call (734) 680-2707. For in-person readings, visit Evenstar’s Chalice in Ypsilanti on Thursdays 2 p.m. to 6 p.m. or Saturdays 3 p.m. to 7 p.m. Appointments can also be scheduled by calling Evenstar’s Chalice at (734) 905-7980.

Drew Hill and The Drewbie’s Zoo

“I am all about fun,” said Ann Arbor native Drew Hill. “I try to find a little fun and whimsy in everything I do, and since starting Drewbie’s Zoo, my goal has been to share that with others.”

Hill attended Pioneer High School then studied Costume Design at the University of Michigan. “Since graduating college,” he said, “I’ve lived in Chicago and Los Angeles, but Ann Arbor keeps calling me back. It’s such an amazing city to live in, and it’s great to be close to my family.”

It was Hill’s grandmother who taught him how to knit when he was ten years old. “I became obsessed!” he said. “I knit on and off all the way through middle school and high school. When I was in my last year at Pioneer, I started a small club for knitting and yarn crafts, and it was at this time that I first picked up a crochet hook. I taught myself from a book and was amazed at the artistic freedom that crochet offers.”

When a good friend from high school and his wife were expecting their first child, Hill first tried his hand at amigurumi, the Japanese art of knitting or crocheting small stuffed animals and other anthropomorphic creatures, which make up the bulk of Drewbie’s Zoo.

Where did the name Drewbie’s Zoo come from? “It wasn’t until I opened an Etsy shop that I realized I would need some sort of business name, which was surprisingly difficult,” Hill said. “I wanted it to have something to do with animals and to be a little whimsical. I toyed around with a lot of different ideas, but I settled on Drewbie’s Zoo because it was the most fun to say out loud!”

Looking through Hill’s Instagram, there is no denying his talent or the cuteness of his clever creations. Said Hill, “Sometimes you just need something cute or punny or beautiful to make you smile, and providing that for others definitely makes me smile!” Some of my personal favorites are the adorable little dragons, smiling tea cups and coffee mugs, the cast of the Lion King, and Luna from Sailor Moon (I grew up in the 90s). But, they all make me smile! And how inspiring for a young person to have a plush Ruth Bader Ginsburg or Rosie the Riveter? 

If you have an idea in mind, but don’t see it in the shop, worry not because Hill takes special orders. He explained, “One of the best parts about running a small business is that I can provide something completely unique, whether it’s your favorite animal, character, or even a replica of your pet!”

For more information, visit drewbieszoo.etsy.com or instagram.com/drewbieszoo. Hill can be contacted through Etsy or at drewbieszoo@gmail.com.

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Book Reviews: New Reads From Long-time Favorites

By Catherine Carlson

Both Caroline Myss and Julia Cameron are well-known authors in the self-help, healing, and spirituality genres. They both burst onto the scene around the same time, nearly 30 years ago. Since that time each of them has produced an entire shelf of books unto themselves and each became classroom teachers of their work. Coincidentally, both grew up in the Chicago suburbs. Devotees of their work can’t help but wonder what else might Caroline or Julia might have to offer, so I decided to read and review their newest books.  

Author, and spiritual teacher, Caroline Myss was an original and powerful voice in the self-help genre back in the 1990’s, beginning with books such as Anatomy of the Spirit: The Seven Stages of Power and Healing. Her gift of medical intuition was a new concept. Her newest release is called Intimate Conversations with the Divine: Prayer Guidance and Grace. The pre-press preface was written at the onset of the shift of 2020 and addresses the global Covid-19 pandemic. She’s quick to point out that, “We have been living in a psychic pandemic of fear for many years,” and this prayer book seeks to address that fear.  

Myss is the product of a Catholic upbringing which gave her a foundation for connecting to the divine in a unique way, bridging spirituality with healing. This is the theme in all her books. Myss also teaches her work. Several years ago, at the end of her classes, Myss would share her prayers with her students. Much to her dismay, they began to request copies.  Out of the many requests for copies grew the birth of this book. Sharing her own personal spiritual practice with the world was not something she ever thought she would do, but realized it was something she had to do.  

According to Myss, people have been praying in one form or another for centuries, but it is a language that has become absent in our daily lives. Prayer books are not new, but Myss’ own prayers may be. At first glance, I expected to see pages full of simple stanzas surrounded by white space. Instead, they are actually short chapters, 100 in total, each devoted to a relatable theme. I randomly opened to a page to see what came up (something she suggests doing). It was Prayer 39 called Healing Night Flights, a prayer for repairing one’s “depleted soul. . . weary body and . . . burdened heart,” while asleep. As we follow her conversation, she talks about the work we have to do ourselves and writes, “There is no such thing as a small act of darkness just as there is no such thing as a small act of love.” There you have it. This is not a light and airy prayer book. 

The prayers read more like essays, or soliloquies on different topics, much like reading a sermon, only very intimate, deep, and relatable. Each two-to-four-page chapter is divided into Prayer, Guidance, and Grace, and ends with an italicized message as in chapter 39 above, “Lord grant me the grace to awaken—truly awaken—and the courage to embrace that mystical experience.” This is the part that is what you might expect a traditional prayer book to look and sound like. Other chapters have titles such as: Confronting my Frightened Inner Self, Sharing Blessings, and The Gift of Aging. What is labeled Prayer is essentially her conversation to the Divine about a certain subject. In the Prayer section of the chapter There but for the Grace of God Go I, she discusses her encounter with a homeless man who joins her on a park bench. He asks her for an iced tea, she agrees and offers to get him a sandwich as well. She becomes uncomfortable when he asks her to eat with him, not wanting to be alone. She obliges him and shares her—not often seen—vulnerability in this experience. She has another meeting with another woman she feels has the signature of a saint and muses as to how the Divine is choosing them these days.  

Visit the bookstore online at crazywisdom.net

The sections on Guidance involve Myss going deeper into the subject matter of the related Prayer. Here she asks questions and may share a relevant story. In the chapter called Only You Could Change the World so Fast, she says the current virus is the agent of bringing the world to a stop but not the mystical agent—the agent behind the scenes, so to speak. She says “We haven’t really grasped that ‘creating our own reality’ is a mystical truth, not a behavioral one.” The Guidance here is to understand the truth that we have the power to create through every choice we make.

In the Grace portion of a chapter on faith she says faith and trust go hand in hand and they are the foundations of self-esteem. In typical fashion, she does not mince words. “If you cannot Trust yourself, you can never—ever—Trust another person.” The thing you have to appreciate about Myss is that she’s going to take you deeper than you might be comfortable with so you’ll do your own inner work. She’s a strict teacher and regularly raps the spiritual ruler on the reader’s knuckles. 

Myss makes a tight case for prayer in our lives and her book provides us with the medicine. She points out that we are in a historical crisis of sorts. Where the “majority do not know what they believe in.”  Humanity is vulnerable. Not knowing where we stand, we might believe the loudest, strongest voice around even if it’s negative, even in the context of religion.

Prayer or words, can help or heal and she defines the true meaning of prayer as “a request for help in how to see.” To find the words and the hope to guide you in this life. In this most personal work of hers yet, Myss gives us an opportunity to join her in asking for help through prayer. 

Book Review: 

The Listening Path

 by Julia Cameron

Switching gears, readers and students of Julia Cameron’s 1992 original creativity course, The Artist’s Way, will undoubtedly have their ears perk up upon hearing about her new book, a six-week Artists Way Program titled The Listening Path: The Creative Art of Attention. Creativity is the foundation of Cameron’s teachings and her new book builds on this with the concept of listening. She seeks to answer the question—how does listening feature into our lives as creatives?  

At this point in her career Cameron is a seasoned teacher. Her long-time students and readers are seasoned as well. The Listening Path refines the creative process even more. The introduction explains the three main tools of The Artist’s Way:  Morning Pages, The Artist’s Date, and The Daily Walk. One need not have read any of her prior books to understand these. 

Morning Pages are the work portion, an opportunity for you to be heard, by you! These are three completely imperfect handwritten pages of whatever is in your head written each morning upon waking. My experience is when morning pages are done consistently, they make everything a little easier. The Artist Date brings in the fun factor. Often resisted, giving yourself this special time to focus on your inner artist, you can’t help but listen. A period of strong writing followed one student’s artist date to a pet store where she got to pet the baby rabbits.  Lastly the Daily Walk “brings us into the present moment.” We can’t help but look and listen to our environment as we move through it. These three pieces are the foundation of her Artists Way programs. 

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By Kim John Payne, M.ED.

The first three weeks of The Listening Path are all about listening to what is in your immediate vicinity: the sounds in your environment, other people, and your higher self. Cameron writes at length about part of her day with respect to the entirety of sounds around her: The loud noise of a hail storm and the effects it has on her dog. She says by tuning out sounds we do ourselves a disservice. For example, tuning in to the alarm clock noise you despise may inspire you to take the action of getting one you like better. Liking your alarm clock sound will have the added effect of making you happier, and you will be more likely to tune in further. Listening to pleasant sounds makes us more pleasant. “Happiness is a primary characteristic of the Listening Path,” says Cameron.

When it comes to listening to others Cameron points out there can be the tendency to interrupt, have your response ready ahead of time, or listen without saying anything. She interviews fellow artist friends and shares with us how listening factors into their own creative processes. This is a non-intimidating workbook with simple “Try this…” invitations for our ears peppered throughout. She took what she heard from her actor and writer friend and turned it into one of those suggestions. Try this: Plan to meet a friend for a chat with the intention of listening carefully to learn. Afterward, consider what you learned and discovered. It’s a great opportunity to practice being curious. 

Working with the previous Artists Way tools can make us feel more ready to listen to our higher self. Cameron shares how writing to her “inner elder,” calmed her anxiety about buying a home for the first time in many years. She addressed the naysayers: the inner critic and others who claim this is just our imagination. There are a series of questions she asks herself when faced with any troubling situation, such as: “What do I need to accept?” Tuning into our intuition provides comforting guidance.  

The following weeks invite us to consider something we may have never in our lives actively listened to—voices beyond our immediate environment such as listening to those beyond the veil like deceased loved ones or historical figures, and lastly, listening to silence. Here Cameron shares that she communicates regularly with close friends that have passed on. I was surprised how simple and easy she made it sound. “Can I hear from Jane?” she asks and immediately, Jane responds. Having her friends’ supportive messages are encouraging. 

Similarly, Cameron listens to voices of public figures that are no longer living. She says the intention is key here. Who do we admire? Cameron admires and writes to Bill Wilson, the co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous. He offers appreciation and reassurance of her work. Cameron has previously shared that the late famous duo—Rogers and Hammerstein, helped her write musicals. Writing music was something new that her Morning Pages suggested she try. She has now completed three musicals and two collections of children’s songs. Cameron points out that to communicate with our heroes builds connections that strengthen ourselves. Why not make an attempt to listen to someone you find wise, who has all the time in the world to speak to you?

The final chapter on listening to silence may be challenging to many. “We quake in its unexpected emptiness.” So many of us live with constant background noise, be it TV, radio, or even going shopping with earbuds in. Cameron encourages her silence avoiding friend to try sitting in silence for five minutes. He calls her after the experiment and reports that although it was different, he remembered something important and had some new ideas for his week. Cameron insists the silence isn’t silent at all, it is filled with a benevolent presence. For those that seek silence it can also be difficult to find it, especially in the city. She suggests finding the quietest environment you can. It could be a church or a library (when open), and tuning into the silence to discover what you hear within it. After time spent in silence, our senses are undeniably sharper and more alert. As I was enjoying a bit of silence at a park recently, I picked up a safe but unpleasant burning smell from a distance which I might not have noticed otherwise. 

Once I began this book, I immediately found myself paying closer attention to my environment and others. I noticed listening takes patience and time, but that’s also what it gives you. On the cover of the book is a single Conch shell, a perfect illustration of a seemingly silent object found in nature—an ideal image to capture the essence of The Listening Path.  

As it turns out Caroline and Julia do have more to tell us, more to teach us. These two books, unique on their own, actually fit together nicely as a pair. Each book highlights an aspect of conversation, one is about communicating, the other listening. The invitation to participate in either requires very little on our part and by all accounts seems more than worth it.

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Namaste, Katie...Our Yoga Column, Spring 2021

Whether you're a seasoned yogi or getting ready to roll out your mat for the first time, here you'll find a variety of useful tips from local yoga instructor, Katie Hoener.

Dear Katie,

My family and I have had a challenging time, which we agree is a shared experience, and are wondering if there is a posture we can share that can bring us together, and bring our stress levels down. 

Marcus, Ann Arbor

Dear Marcus,

I agree this year has been unbelievably challenging, with multidimensional trauma, and challenges coming from all directions. It can be challenging to feel reset, and at times to be set at all. Through yoga there are a number of ways that we can come into our bodies and do our best to work toward a sense of balance, even if only for a moment. One key path is to slow down, focus, and reset, through an inversion. These spaces, where the base of the spine is elevated above the base of the skull, signals to the parasympathetic nervous system to kick into gear. This part of us is the ‘tend and befriend’ part of the nervous system that cares and comforts. A delightful way to come together in an asana place is through a Salamba Sarvangasana, a supported shoulder stand. 

Here, I offer two versions. One is using your own body, and strength to support yourself, and the other is settling into supports. Whether we are using props, or using our own body is often dependent on the day. To come into Salamba Sarvangasana we want to be comfortable on our mats, with arms planted into the mat close to the body. On an inhale, core muscles engaged, we lift the legs toward the sky, planting the hands on the low back, and cradling the pelvis. The amount of lift through the pelvis is very much up to you. There are many variations of supported shoulder stand, and you will see many that show legs and body in one line, and others with more of an angle. The most important thing is that your core muscles are engaged, and feel lifted through the legs. 

The other option, often called Candlestick, places a blanket or pillow under the pelvis, and allows the legs to reach up toward the sky. If you need a bend in the knees, take that adaptation. This variation is quite restorative, and is something that I practice for a few minutes before bed on most days. Though children may love a supported shoulder stand, you may find that family time holding Candlestick can be held for a little longer, and can offer you a space to offer balance to one another. 

Namaste Katie,

You talk with many readers about the challenges of meditation, and I have been struggling. I am looking for something that I can use while at work when I cannot play a guided meditation, or use one of my other go-to tools. Do you have any suggestions during this hectic time?

Liz, Ann Arbor

Dear Liz,

This has been a time when meditation has been recommended a lot and has been more challenging than ever. I have found myself going back to the basics in many cases, as practices that are complicated or involved have, for me, felt overwhelming. In The Science of Breath by Yogi Ramacharaka there is a wonderful practice of pranayama that is itself meditative and fits the situation you are describing. It is called Yogic Rhythmic Breath, and involves connecting with your own heartbeat, and connecting your breath to the pace of your heart. 

Find your pulse, perhaps on your wrist, or on your neck. Take a minute to find a place where this is easy, so that when you start the practice you are not searching or struggling. When you are ready you will begin counting the inhale to match six beats of your heart, allow the exhale to match six beats of your heart. Take ten breaths to feel comfortable with this practice, and if this is where you want to start, stay here. This is a beautiful way to connect deeply with yourself. If you would like to continue the practice, the space between the breath is half that of the length of the inhale and the exhale, so at this point, the count of three pulses. If the location and time allow, the length of the breath can be increased, as well as the space between. Check in that as you expand the breath you remain comfortable. 

Yogi Ramacharaka recommends that we start with twenty rounds of this breath practice, adding more rounds if time and space allow. This connection with our own rhythms draws us into a place of concentration and can become a meditative place. Connections to the breath are the foundation of a mindful practice. 

Dear Katie,

Recently as part of a workshop on positive psychology we were all assigned to start a gratitude journal. I was discussing this with my partner, and they suggested that I also look into other heart chakra practices. Are there ways to expand on this gratitude work?

Dan, Saline

Namaste Dan,

I am a big fan of gratitude journals and keep one myself. As you mentioned they are a part of a growing amount of research in a number of fields, including positive psychology. The Anahata Chakra, or the Heart Chakra, is the midpoint in the traditional chakra system, with three below and three above. Gratitude work is important to cultivating an open heart and forming connections with others. 

To build on your work of gratitude journaling, transfer this intention and energy to a meditation practice, or into an asana practice, if you find that more accessible. Breathing in feelings of gratitude and opening ourselves up to recalling moments when we feel grateful builds our own abilities to come to these feelings and sensations over and over again. As discussed in positive psychology and in yoga, there are so many negative influences and attachments impacting us and attempting to steer us away from a compassionate and loving mindset. Gratitude is a powerful way to stay open and connected to others, and to our own ability to forge deep bonds. Whether through meditating on a particular moment of gratitude, or using a gratitude mindset as a sankalpa, see if there are ways to infuse this mindset into other practices to make your heart center shine!

Katie Hoener is an RYT 500, receiving her 200 and 500 hour trainings. She is also a Licensed Master Social Worker and a partner at Verapose Yoga in Dexter (veraposeyoga.com). Please send your own yoga questions to katie@verposeyoga.com.

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All Creatures Great and Small: Pippen— Our Own Little Mafia Boss

By Jenn Carson

My husband and I have been together for almost 30 years. In that time, we’ve raised four boys and six dogs. Well… six and a half if you count the puppy we raised for my mom for the first five months.

Most of our dogs have been of the “big” variety—labs and lab mixes. Our first dog we had together, Meghan, was adopted from the Huron Valley Humane Society. I was told she was a shepherd/lab mix, but we always wondered because she wasn’t built like either of the two breeds. She had long, slender legs, petite feet, a glossy coat, and a fan tail that curled up. It wasn’t until recently, when my husband’s aunt and uncle brought an English Shepherd puppy home that we had an aha moment—Meghan had been an English Shepherd.

Neither one of us ever considered getting a little dog—they were yappy, biting little creatures (or so we thought). Big dogs were safer—they kept strangers away from our kids, foxes away from the chickens, and our feet warm in bed. So, what made us change our mind?

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As life moved on, our priorities shifted. Everyone in our family is now an adult. Constant supervision is no longer something our children need, which leaves my husband and I free to explore the country—to see all the things we didn’t get to because we started a family when we were young instead of sowing wanderlust. We bought a small motorhome in order to do this, but a 90-pound lab and a small motorhome don’t really go together all that well. We knew we’d never leave a dog behind for three or four months, and we knew we wouldn’t want to be without the companionship of a dog. So, the search began—for a small dog with a big dog attitude.

Boy, was this a lesson in framing your wants to the universe correctly!

We got a small dog with a very big attitude.

Pippen was a sweet-looking, less than three pounds, little bundle of brown and white fur. A cocker spaniel, poodle mix. We’d never paid more for a pup than we did for her, plunking down 800 hard earned dollars. The first weekend we had her she wiggled under the claw-foot tub in our Victorian house—and came out with a blue pill in her mouth. A struggle ensued—she didn’t like to give found treasures up. A few months previous my husband had dropped his blood pressure medicine—he thought he’d picked them all up—obviously he didn’t get them all. I scrambled to the phone and called the emergency vet, since it was a Sunday morning. The receptionist was very calm until I told her that Pippen only weighed three pounds.

Needless to say, a whole day at the vet on IV’s, and $600 later, we came home with a little ball of fur with two shaved front legs and a lesson learned—small dogs can get into places you’ve never even thought of. Looking at this positively, the floor under the tub has never been so clean.

Even though Pippen is the smallest dog in the house (only 11 pounds)—we still have a 90-pound male lab, and an old girl who weighs about 65 pounds—she is the dominant dog—most of the time. Our old girl will still put her in her place occasionally, but our male dog lets her boss him around something fierce. It’s comical most of the time, but sometimes momma has to step in, like when the other dogs want to wake me up in the morning. As soon as they approach the side of the bed Pippen starts to guard me. While I appreciate the fact that she wants to let me sleep, the fact that she’s standing on my head growling at the other dogs doesn’t really help all that much.

Pippen can also be very demanding.

I trained her to ring a bell when she has to go potty. I was so proud of how smart she was! She learned this little trick in about four days, and even trained the other dogs to know that when the bell rings, everyone can go outside. But now I wonder if I trained her or if she trained me? She now rings the bell when she wants to go out to potty, but she also rings it if she wants to distract the big dogs, if she wants to sit on the porch steps in the sun, or wants to go for a walk. If I don’t get up right away she walks into the room I’m in and cocks her head as if to say, “What are you doing hooman? I rang the bells! Are you deaf?” The look on her face is priceless and always makes me laugh (and groan at the same time because I’ve been interrupted for about the tenth time that afternoon).

Pippen can also be very insecure.

When I put my shoes on, she starts to lose her mind. She steals and runs away with the shoe I haven’t gotten on yet and she attacks my fingers when I’m trying to tie my laces. I’ve started kenneling her up when I have to leave without her before I put my shoes on or putting her harness on first if I am going to take her with me—that way she knows she’s going. Thankfully, she has also developed a bond with the boys who still live at home, so if I do have to leave her, I feel better about it—but she definitely prefers to be with mom.

Okay—so having a puppy has always been like having an infant—I knew that going into this, but I didn’t think I was getting a new mafia boss in the house. I’m hoping that she’ll calm down a little as she gets older—and for right now, I’ll just remember that it feels good to be so loved, even if she does try to boss me around. 

Learn more online at fourpawsvetwellness.com.

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