By Christine MacIntyre
Loneliness and isolation are common themes today, exacerbated even more in recent years by stay-at-home mandates and closures of schools and businesses. There is hope, however, as experts reveal solutions to combat the dark voids in life aggravated by a lack of social interaction. In Ensemble! Using the Power of Improv & Play to Forge Connections in a Lonely World, Dr. Jeff Katzman and actor, writer, improviser, and director Dan O’Connor, present a unique solution as the antidote to loneliness. Their combined expertise in improv and psychiatry demonstrates to readers how the skills of improv facilitate connection with others and how to recognize and strengthen current relationships. They call this process Ensembling, in which participants draw from improv skills to create a toolkit of reflective functioning, mindfulness, mentalizing, and emotional regulation. “Ensembling shows us a way to develop increased self-awareness, empathy, compassion, and attention to the dynamics present in all human interaction.”
While improv may seem daunting and an unsuspecting way to combat isolation, core concepts such as teamwork, creativity, embracing adventure and risk, and developing intentional focus are proven effective for meaningful connection with others. Ensemble! presents simple, yet smart, information about Ensembling—what it is, how to do it, who can use it, and why it works. Overall, the book feels informational but reads much like a workbook that teaches you step-by-step how to gain the upper hand on loneliness.
Katzman and O’Connor offer a sincere explanation of loneliness, what causes it, how different people experience it, and the negative impact it may have on health and well-being. Then, observing the innate social construct of human beings, the authors convey how and why the solution will come from connectedness and that the act of “play” is a promising solution. Of course, Ensembling is more than a theory; the authors introduce real-life examples of people who have experienced the phenomenon and had life-changing experiences. Additionally, chapter one exposes readers to the psychology behind loneliness and the proposed anti-loneliness prescription.
Of course, as with any significant life change, the foundation is the person making the change. Chapter two delves into the importance of staying true to self. The authenticity required for Ensembling draws on inward reflection and could include meditation, self-care, and acquiring the ability to relax through refocusing. However, Ensemble! teaches readers that introspection doesn’t have to be done alone and that drawing on others’ perspectives, emotions, and experiences is beneficial. “Improvisation gives us the opportunity to practice both tuning in to our own impulses and imagination as well as tracking and joining the ideas coming from those around us.” The result is more profound relationships with others.
Throughout the next few chapters, Katzman and O’Connor explain how to be an effective member of a relationship through truly seeing other people, listening, being vulnerable, and being curious about others. Being real with each other, both in improv and everyday life, opens doors to meaningful connections. Additionally, the authors explain how reflective functioning plays a role in everyday life and improv, allowing people to pay attention not only to their realities but to the reality of others. “We find ourselves in conversations moving back and forth between our perspective and experience and attuning to the world of another. We wonder about our mental state and that of those around us. In a good conversation, a sense of balance often emerges. A give-and-take.”
Of course, improv, as with life, comes with challenges. Difficult contexts, such as a quiet, unresponsive audience, or an illness, often emerge and change the dynamics of our goal. However, the text offers solutions to enduring these difficult circumstances, such as slowing down, developing poise, and connecting with others in more playful ways. The tips offered are realistic and practical—nothing so tricky that readers couldn’t practice them in their own lives.
Additionally, Katzman and O’Connor acknowledge that people should be cautious about the potential dangers of belonging to any group. “Groups have the potential to actually make us feel even more lonely if we’re not careful”—either by exhausting ourselves, overscheduling, spreading ourselves too thin, and forgetting self-care, or by limiting our flexibility of mind through a tendency to comply.
Part II is all about putting Ensembling into practice in real life. The chapters delve into family and the possibility that some of us fall into rigid roles and beliefs about who we are. Often, this leads to the projection of early life experiences into adult life, potentially wreaking havoc in the relationships we enter. But, again, the text leans into the possibilities rather than what is damaged. Examples include:
Creating new traditions.
Exploring what is possible instead of accommodating detrimental rules or limitations.
Searching for new people with whom we can Ensemble.
Adapting according to current circumstances.
In addition to family, work is a constant presence in many people’s lives. Ensemble! acknowledges the need for healthy connection in work settings, as well, and addresses workplace roles, qualities of a healthy work environment that fosters a sense of belonging, and the importance of infusing a sense of play at work.
Ensemble! leaves readers satisfied with the knowledge and tools to implement improv skills in their own lives. While some readers may wonder where to begin, Katzman and O’Connor advise readers to start with what they have. “Get present to the experience that meets you at this particular moment and build from there.” Breaking through comfort zones, considering the perspectives of others, developing flexibility of mind, and realizing that perfection is impossible will allow people to transcend loneliness, isolation, and alienation.
Through careful consideration of diverse perspectives and unique experiences, Ensemble! builds on the notion that humans are social beings. The text considers major obstacles, nuances, and potential limitations and provides the tools needed to show up to the various ensembles to which we belong. The life-changing processes draw on skills readers already have within themselves, showing readers how to draw them out with confidence. Ensemble! is backed by real-life examples, theories rooted in psychology, and practical pointers with “Takeaways and Stuff to Try” at the end of each chapter. Part call-to-action, part workbook, and part self-help, Ensemble! presents an engaging and interesting concept.
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