By Monica Turenne
The bond we share with our pets is one the strongest bonds we will ever experience. Their devotion to us, as well as their non-judgmental, unconditional love, leaves an indelible mark on our hearts which is why saying goodbye is so hard. As a Certified Hospice and Palliative Care Veterinarian, the most common question I am asked is, “When will I know it is time to say goodbye?” What many families do not realize is that choosing where and how to say goodbye can be just as important.
Until a decade ago, pet parents seeking euthanasia only had the option of taking their pet to their local veterinary hospital. Options have expanded, and now include in-home euthanasia, and in some cases, hospice-assisted natural death.
Death is incredibly intimate and more pet parents are looking for ways they can help their pets feel comfortable, relaxed, and safe in their final moments. Pet parents are also looking for ways they can feel safe and supported through this process.
In-home euthanasia provides many benefits, including giving pet parents the opportunity to say goodbye on their own terms. Pet parents may choose to incorporate spiritual or religious customs. Candles may be lit, songs sung, poems read, and photographs displayed—all setting a peaceful atmosphere while honoring the life the pet has shared with them.
It is important to note that every family and every pet have different needs. This is what makes in-home euthanasia so special. I am always so amazed by the thought and consideration pet parents give to how and where they want their pet’s last moments to be. Requests have included the pet being in a special chair, being under a picnic bench, being in a favorite spot in the backyard, or the most common, simply nestled in your lap.
Just like people, pets have extended family, too. This may include family members, special friends, or neighbors who may have cared for or bonded with your pet. With the euthanasia at home, families may choose to invite these special people to be present.
I am often asked if children should be present for a euthanasia. Ultimately, this decision is left to the children’s parents. My Certification in Thanatology (the study of death) has given me knowledge and insight into how best to include children of all ages in the process. If the family would like children to be present, I can suggest how this can be accomplished while still making the pet the central focus. With a euthanasia at home, there are many more options for how children can participate in a developmentally appropriate way. If the family would prefer the children not be present, I can provide meaningful and creative suggestions for how these children can still be in involved in the process even if they are not present for the euthanasia.
Another question I am often asked is, “What about my other pet?” In-home euthanasia benefits these pets as they do go through a grieving process just as we do. I have heard so many stories about pets who have lost a “sibling” and that that they look for that pet after they have died. Simply offering the space and time for these pets to be present with the deceased pet allows them to understand in their own way what has happened. I have had the privilege to see how pets react to death. Some pets curl up with the deceased and won’t leave their side. Others simply become very quiet and still. And yet others show their understanding by simply leaving the room. While pets may still grieve, it is clear that those who have been given the opportunity to witness the deceased pet seem to handle the subsequent absence of that pet a bit easier.
It is important to note that while euthanasia is the more common choice for families, hospice-assisted natural death may also be an option. If you are interested in this option for your pet, it is important to find a Certified Hospice and Palliative Care veterinarian (CHPV). A CHPV’s advanced training can help families determine if their situation is right for natural death as well as providing experienced guidance and support to be sure the pet parent understands the process and that the pet is always comfortable and pain-free.
At the beginning of this article, I referred to the “when is time to say goodbye to my pet” question. Some families already know the answer to this question and are ready to schedule an in-home euthanasia. Other pet parents are not sure how to begin to make this decision. Seeking a consultation with a CHPV can be instrumental in putting together a plan and providing expert counsel along the way. The more information and support pet parents are given, the more confident they are in making these very difficult decisions.
We are truly humbled to do this work and help families facing the end of their pet’s life. And while appointments are steeped in sadness, we always hope that we have made a very difficult situation perhaps just a bit easier.
Dr. Turenne has been a veterinarian for 24 years. She is the owner of Four Paws Veterinary Wellness, a mobile veterinary practice. She is a Certified Hospice and Palliative Care veterinarian, a Certified Veterinary Acupuncturist, and is also Certified in Thanatology. Dr. Turenne provides in-home euthanasia services, holistic, hospice and palliative care consultations, as well as assisting families with hospice-assisted natural death.For more information, please visit fourpawsvetwellness.com call (734) 385-7161.
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