I was hesitant to share my latest painting as my ingrained skepticism rears its head whenever angels appear, making me feel childish that I paint them. I grew up in a household where rationality ruled; the fantastical was accepted as part of the arts, but not necessarily respected. The intelligence of people of faith was questioned in principle, and my innocent curiosity was frequently ridiculed. I think it is rather miraculous that my spiritual interests and seeker tendencies weren’t wiped out altogether. In some of us, the yearning for a relationship with the Divine is strong—no different than a love of the arts or a passion for music is in others—and therefore hard to extinguish.
Filtering by Author: Sibel Ozer
Being OK with Not Being OK – Medusa Redefined
Earlier I described a process whereby parts of us stay behind and argued that our psychological wellbeing requires all parts of the psyche to be anchored within the home-body. That was a call to reunite our many parts in service of living in the best and fullest way possible, which can only happen in the present. I want to repeat Rilke’s words that the point (of life) is to live everything, and build on this idea by inviting contemplation on how to navigate our negative emotions, which are the hardest to feel.
Importance of Honoring
We honor ourselves by honoring not only the past, but the present, and the future as well. Honoring the past includes people, places, phases of life, and memorable events. Honoring the present includes the good, the bad, and the ugly. And we honor the future through making space for our hopes, dreams, and wants.
Societies throughout history and across cultures have grasped the importance of honoring through the creation of an innumerable variety of ceremonies that facilitate it. Let’s contemplate the concept of honoring further.
On Courage and Resilience
Rollo May was the first to introduce me to the idea that there are different types of courage. I was reminded of this idea through a Facebook meme I came across recently which listed six types of courage. All of us are naturally courageous in some ways, and not so much in others. All of us could increase our resilience with different types of situations requiring courage, should we want to. Keep in mind Aristotle’s golden mean idea, which views too much courage as recklessness, and too little as cowardice.
When Parts of Us Stay Behind
An interesting thing happened to me when I returned from a long awaited and wonderful summer vacation back home. I didn’t even recognize what was going on until after some time passed and I noticed I wasn’t quite myself, I needed more time than usual to adjust to my everyday life; it was as if I wasn’t all here.
When Life Is Cut Short
Few among us get the privilege to bypass the experience of a premature, untimely loss of a loved one. The pandemic of 2020 has added to already existing causes of mortality, making it harder than usual to deny death as an organic part of life. I recently lost two junior high/high school friends as we all turn 50. They were not my closest friends, and yet their untimely death, one due to a prolonged battle with cancer and the other to a suffering-free sudden death during sleep, was impactful nevertheless.
Say Something Nice
Overall, I am a better therapist than I am a mother. My love for my children is unquestionably larger/deeper then my care for my clients, and yet when it comes to communicating it, I do a better job as a therapist. Being a therapist is by far less messy then being a parent, and also quite a bit less vulnerable. My ego functions are often triggered as a parent, whereas I can easily keep them out of the picture in my role as counselor. I so cherish the concept of good enough parenting. That, I can do.
Shapeshifting
What resides in our unconscious is as much a part of who we are, and how we behave, as what makes up our consciousness. The language of the unconscious is imagery. The rules by which it functions are mythical. Science seems to lag behind the arts in its grasp of the paradoxes inherent to humanity. The psyche expresses itself through symbol and metaphor that can best be understood through stories, as stories allow for the unknown. Stories tolerate mystery.
A Glimpse into the Psyche
A Chinese proverb goes something like this: What is right and what is wrong, need we ask anyone else these things? We have all been bestowed with an internal sense of justice. The more aware we are, the clearer this sense of justice becomes. It is equally true, however, that we face overwhelmingly complex decisions living in energy dependent, growth and productivity driven, increasingly digitally connected while simultaneously disconnected from nature, lifestyles.
Self-love
It’s only mid-March and I’ve already noticed a shift in my outlook that has influenced how 2020 is going for me. I’m not sure what started it: An invitation by my art teacher Flora Aube to ditch typical new year resolutions in favor of self –love? An artwork with a message to replace acceptance with the ongoing efforts to become a better version of myself? Or simply, turning 50? The recognition of having lived half a century leads one to contemplate certain things.
Women with Trees on Their Mind
I didn’t always love trees, not like I love people and animals. It takes a certain amount of deepening, maturity, and patience to appreciate the subtle, to grasp interconnectedness in its totality.
Habituation vs. Gratitude
I’ve always resonated with the idea of the psyche as landscape that varies in topography, weather patterns, vegetation, and inhabitants. Polarities of all kinds can be found within, even though the mind itself prefers to land on one side of things rather then continuing to remain open to alternatives. It is best to make a practice of contemplating opposing ideas to stay connected to reality, and to not be fooled by our own minds.
Lilith
Usually, ideas from a book find their way into a blog about a painting with synchronicity rather then cognitive synthesis, in other words, more by happenstance as opposed to conscious deliberation. The above painting came about as a direct result of my reading Original Resistance, Reclaiming Lilith, even though as usual, I wasn’t going for it intentionally, but rather following the creative flow. I thought I was painting another Tree Spirit until the snake showed up letting me know this is Lilith herself, and I better get on with telling her story.
Visiting Da Vinci
Recently I had the privilege of revisiting Paris after 25 years since my study abroad in college. I had no concept of mindfulness back then and wasn’t nearly as contemplative. My memory space stored places and events that were meaningful to me regardless, allowing me to see how they differed from present experiences.
We got a special magical moment with my husband that did justice to the city’s reputation for romance. The first time we had the chance to stroll by the Seine on our own we stopped by a street musician. We decided to not rush by, but stop and give him our full attention while savoring the blessing of being in Paris together.
Only A Glimpse
I am a summer person living in Michigan, walking around half heartbroken, not being able to keep myself from anticipating what is to come, which is not-summer for another three seasons. Since I know the value of mindful presence, I look for things that’ll help me stay in the present. Even though I am more of a mammal lover in general, at the moment the antidote to my mind’s tendency to hijack me to the future comes from the insect kingdom as they remind me to be in the present, to savor the magic of the moment, and to contemplate the mysteries. I had written a blog about fireflies before so will focus on the butterfly this time around.
MOTHER EARTH
While environmental scientists across the world were working hard to finalize the assessment of the 2019 UN Report on the State of the Environment, I was eagerly descending the steps to my basement art therapy office on Main Street, Ann Arbor so I could put the finishing touches on my latest painting. I’ve felt this space to be particularly compatible with psychological work that requires a quieting of the mind chatter in order to be able to access inner wisdom.
The Song of the Phoenix
I realized only later that I had great expectations around how wonderful it would all be in a way that wasn’t compatible with real life. I try to help my clients understand the many myths around mindfulness practices, especially the one that suggests that regular practice will lead to steady calm, happiness, or bliss. What mindfulness cultivates is an increased capacity to be present with all states of being rather then favoring the good over the bad and the ugly. One of the biggest takeaways of the retreat for me personally was that the same applies to retreats or vacations.
A Snake Charmer Tree Spirit and the Honeysuckle
It is impossible not to grow in awareness and fondness of nature in general, and birds and plants specifically, while living in a town like Ann Arbor. I’ve been learning things organically, without a need to study deeply, or have a specific interest in plant life (which I admit I don’t). We lucked out with a house that has a huge backyard with many trees, a small pond that hosts a snapping turtle I’ve seen only once in the eight years that we’ve been here. Ignorance got me close enough to get this photo of her.
Mother Nature
I have been paying close attention to our backyard for many years now, and know which tree will be the first to turn green (the little willow by the pond), which wildflowers will bloom first, how much progress the moss has made in its fight for territory over the grass. Because I am unable to convince others let alone my husband that our attachment to lawns is not the best idea, we have plenty of it in our backyard, but due to our lack of chemical warfare against Mama Nature’s preferences, moss and some clover types are beginning to make their claim
What's in a Name?
I wanted to share this to hopefully bring some lightness to our struggles with what is foreign to us, hard to pronounce, or even hard to understand. We can get too caught up in getting things right, worrying we will offend, or thinking we are not respectful if we don’t do the extra effort it takes to get it right. Consider that what come easy and natural to you, even though it veers from the original, might actually add to someone’s memory space, and enrich their lives
