Katy Gladwin
This year I have had the pleasure of spending every single waking and sleeping moment with my two-year-old. While I love her very much, I also had a very hard time, until recently, finding a daycare we connected with that had availability. Spending this absurd amount of time with a toddler has made me a little less sane but has also taught me some very valuable lessons. These are lessons I hope to include in my daily life and will do my best to not force her to outgrow.
Party Every Day
Why not?! We had a lovely bonfire gathering with friends this summer, and it was so fun for her that she asked for a party every day after that. I tried to figure out ways we could “party” every day, because having that fun connection with friends and family was so great. Sometimes that looked like a playground trip or a walk in the woods with her little buddies, while other times it was a smaller family dance party, or a singing party in the car. I think it’s important to point out the moments when we’re having a party—also known as finding the joy in the mundane.
I try to remember this when I’m doing chores or just putzing along doing the everyday work of motherhood/adulthood. Take a moment, find something to make a boring task more fun. Put on a song, laugh with friends, find something to feel energetically joyful about.
Slow Down
While this might seem like the opposite of a party every day, it is really important for toddlers to feel like they can watch and learn without being rushed. So, this might mean I need to let her take ten minutes to figure out how to put her socks on or sit with her on the sidewalk while she watches a bug go by. I notice myself feeling like I need to speed things up, all the time, and she reminds me to sit, and watch, and listen. To be still for a few minutes, even if it’s just for noticing my breath—in and out.
Stop Eating When You’re Full
My daughter is so good at this! I know it’s super common to tell kids to “just eat three more bites,” and sometimes it’s necessary—especially if you have a busy, wandering kind of kiddo. But if you’re able to tap into what’s going on in their bodies, and trust that they know, then you can often allow them to guide. When she’s satiated, she stops eating! Even if the food is her favorite—cookies, sweet potato fries, mac and cheese. As a professional health coach, I meet so many women who don't know how to tell if their bodies are full. For whatever reason, many of us have disconnected from the signals our bodies tell us around food and satiety. We often don’t need to finish all the food on our plate—our eyes are bigger than our stomach kind of thing. Little humans know when to stop eating, and as long as we continue to listen, and trust them, they should be able to keep hearing their bodies little voices throughout childhood and into adulthood.
Take a Hug
She says, “I take a hug?” And “take” is exactly what she means! “This hug is for me.” I love when she takes a hug. We need physical touch from our people—our physiology changes when we receive hugs and loving touch from others. Our oxytocin (the love and bonding hormone) levels rise and our nervous system can relax into safety. It also allows me to know what she needs, she asks and receives, and I can easily provide her with that feeling of certain safety. We’re terrible at asking for our needs to be met, and physical touch is a biological need. Take a hug! Your nervous system and your relationships will thank you.
First, Say “no”—Then Change Your Mind If You Want
We all know a two-year-old’s favorite word is no. This used to annoy me, but now I love how she just has boundaries! She says no, but then always has the option to change her mind. This is so hard to learn, especially if you have caregiver syndrome. We have all heard the saying “No is a complete sentence” and I think we should all be taking this more to heart. Similar to the idea of ‘under promise and over perform,’ standing in our integrity and confident in our boundaries is a lesson we should all take to heart. Sometimes our boundaries are hard to find in the moment or under pressure—so saying no first can allow time to find where our true needs and desires meet expectations.
Katy Gladwin CHC, WHC, as a Holistic Doula and health guide has been supporting women in body autonomy and sovereignty through the childbearing years for over a decade. Through private and group programs, she teaches, guides, listens, and carries sacred healing in whatever form each women finds they need most. Gladwin is trained as a coach though an Integrative Medicine Lens and has studied naturopathic medicine and modalities including homeopathy, herbal wisdom, craniosacral therapy, HeartMath(R), breath work, and holistic nutrition.
To contact her, email katy@katygladwin.com or visit her online
at katygladwin.com.
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