By Amy Lagler
Years ago, my friend Lorraine and I were comparing junior high report cards which, back then, were much more than a letter grade representing your academic successes and failures. Teachers actually wrote a list of everything they wanted your parents to know you were or weren’t doing. In my case, the list was long and critical.
“Not living up to her potential” appeared on my report card every time, something I never fully understood, as I tried every single day to make people laugh. Apparently, my teachers believed I should set my sights on a different goal. “Disruptive in class” also appeared every time, and most of the rest of the list had something to do with the fact that I would not shut up.
Lorraine had a lot of choice comments on her report cards too, but the one I loved the most (and later stole for my website and short-lived blog) was “habitual time waster.” It made me laugh, in part, because Lorraine is definitely not a time waster. I can see though that, like me, Lorraine has her own ideas of time well spent, and they probably ran afoul of the traditional K-12 curriculum.
In truth, Lorraine is a lifelong student of the universe, endlessly looking for answers, studying different fields of thought and, thankfully, sharing her ideas with friends like me. It was one of her latest forays into the world of astrology and birth charts that brought me back to thinking about my report cards.
I didn’t know much about astrology, so when Lorraine presented me with my birth chart last year, a literal map of the sky at the exact moment and location of my birth with all the planets and stars located within a zodiac wheel, it was a bit of a revelation. I’d known I was a Gemini since I was very young (I grew up in the 1970s after all) but I didn’t have any idea I had multiple planets in Gemini—three to be exact:the Sun, Mercury, and Mars. I’m certain that anyone who knows anything about astrology just had an immediate understanding of what I must have been like in my youth (okay, maybe I’m still like that; my birth chart hasn’t changed after all).
For those that don’t know much about astrology, the Sun conveys your central purpose or vitality, Mercury reveals how you communicate and connect with others, and Mars reflects how you take action and assert yourself. Having all three of these planets in Gemini, a sign known for being social, playful, easily bored, and (above all) talkative, probably explains why I’m a bit gregarious (some might say obnoxious). Or they might simply say something I’ve heard a lot in my life, “Amy please stop talking.”
The revelations of my birth chart didn’t stop with the trio of planets I have sitting in chatty Gemini. Far more interesting to me was the little matter of my Nodes. There is a South Node, presumably what you come into this life with (the skills you have developed in previous lives) and a North Node, which is where you should be headed and what you are here to work on this time around. I had never heard of Nodes before, although I had been told that my birth chart might give me a sense of my life’s path or some idea about the journey I am on this time around. Skeptic that I am, I assumed the information would be pretty vague and full of generalities that could probably apply to most of the population. I never expected it to be so specific and spot on—and not necessarily in a good way. Be forewarned that if you develop some curiosity about your own Nodes, reading about them can really piss you off.
One thing I’ve learned about many astrologers is that they don’t really care if they piss you off. There is no sugar coating the stars. What’s funny to me is how it is the most obvious stuff, the stuff all your friends know, that really sets you off when you hear it from a random astrologer.
Take, for instance, the very first thing I read about my Nodal Axis (North Node in Taurus. South Node in Scorpio). Apparently, that indicates that I have an excessive need for external validation. What the hell? That’s not true. I’m super confident, some might say overconfident. It’s a lifelong quality that has gotten me into trouble repeatedly, often with very comic results. I was furious with disbelief that anyone, let alone someone who had never met me, would accuse me of needing external validation.
But wait! Maybe I should point out that I used to be a professor. For anyone who has been around professors that is probably enough said. For anyone else, trust me when I say professors need, crave, and seek out external validation. It’s the necessary component, the secret sauce of what keeps you in school for that long and makes you read so many books, take so many exams, and attend so many mind-numbingly boring seminars. I haven’t been a professor in decades, but I remember the ego stroking it provided. It felt very nice. Is it self-evident to point out I’m still seeking external validation at some level? You’re reading something I wrote so… yes? Let’s move along.
Aside from the true but still somewhat vague generality that I’m a validation seeker, my Nodal Axis also had some very specific things to say about my past lives. My South Node in Scorpio indicates I’ve had a lot of go arounds that were turbulent, full of drama, intensity, drugs, sex, and power seeking. Possibly that might explain my teenage years in a broader historical context. Astrologers also agree that with this Nodal Axis I was probably a Courtesan in several past lives. Possibly that might explain other things, like how I ended up writing my dissertation on prostitution in Chicago during the Gilded Age. I’ve always wondered what made me interested in that.
Thankfully, in this lifetime I’ve had other options and, according to my Nodes, I should end up a person of authority, possibly like a professor. Interestingly, they also indicate that I will somehow get involved in antiques, a suggestion that seemed overly specific and even more funny for being true. In fact, I quit being a professor to open an antique store. Oh, I laughed. Maybe there is something to these Nodes after all. If so, I’m right on track.
Overall, I wouldn’t be unhappy if the astrology was spot on this time around as a North Node in Taurus means journeying toward a life of peace, spiritual growth, and contentment (I guess time will tell!). I’m pretty sure though that even if my travels take me toward a life of peace, I’m going to be disruptive and chatty through this whole wild ride. Rest assured, I will keep reaching for my true potential and keep trying to make you laugh.
Amy Lagler lives in Ann Arbor, where she continues to unwittingly follow her Nodal Axis. Having closed down the antique store, she now spends most of her time in nature and continues to talk an alarming amount to others, her dog, and, occasionally, herself if no one else is available. She also still happily panders to external validation so please feel free to email her at habitualtimewaster@gmail.com.
