By Angela Verges
If you give a mom a minute to meditate, she’ll drift into a deep sleep. If she goes to sleep, she’ll want to snuggle with her favorite fleece blanket. If her blanket isn’t warm enough, she’ll want fuzzy socks.
If her sock has a hole in it, she’ll search for needle and thread to sew it up. As she sews the hole, she’ll become tired and remember why she began to meditate in the first place. And in the life of a busy mom, the cycle repeats.
Children’s book author Laura Numeroff wrote several books that I love reading: If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, If you Give a Pig a Pancake, and If You Give a Moose a Muffin. When the characters received the item they wanted, they continued to ask for something more.
As busy moms, it’s acceptable to want more time, more help, more space, and the list goes on. An important element to add to your list of more, is self-care. I am reminded of a safety instruction given by flight attendants, once you board a plane, "In the event of an emergency secure yourself, then assist your child."
I’m paraphrasing that statement, but the idea is that in order to help someone else, you must be well.
Step off the hamster wheel, the merry-go-round, the rinse and repeat cycle of life, and schedule deliberate time for self-care. Laughter is one tool I like to include in my self-care kit, and you can, too. Here are three ways to use humor or laughter as self-care.
Find humor in daily situations. I’ve fallen asleep during meditation, prayer, and a Zoom class. None of these things were boring, it’s just that my body has a mind of its own. When it needs rest, it’s going to rest. I find the humor in each situation and share it through a story or comedy. You, too, can uncover humor in your daily walk. Try it.
Treat yourself to a comedy show—find a comedy club in your area, call a friend, and laugh until your cheeks hurt.
Read something humorous—as a youngster I loved to read Archie comics. Every now and then I’ll still grab an Archie Digest from the bookstore (Yes, Archie comics are still around). The stories my not be laugh out loud funny, but they can evoke a smile. I’m currently reading Fifty Things That Aren’t My Fault by Cathy Guisewite, the creator of the comic strip, Cathy. I have laughed out loud while reading her book. I also had an opportunity to meet Cathy in person at an Erma Bombeck Writers' Workshop. Her keynote talk had the room filled with laughter.
Laughter helps you view your situation with lightheartedness. Laughter should be a part of your self-care. A friend told me how she felt peaceful and relaxed after practicing meditation. I wanted to experience that relaxed state, that non-hurried feeling, a state of momentary euphoria. I wasn’t sure where to start with a guided meditation, I turned to Google…and found what I was looking for, so I thought.
One morning, before the sky opened to light, I sat crossed legged on my bedroom floor. The only sound that filled the room was a bird chirping at my open window. I opened my laptop and clicked the link to the meditation I planned to use. The woman began talking in a calming voice “It’s good to pause and relax. Close your eyes. It’s okay to go to sleep…it’s the end of your day.”
I popped an eye open and listened a little more. “This guided sleep meditation will relax you for a good night’s rest.” I wasn’t ready to sleep. I had just woken up! I didn’t know at the time that there were different meditations for morning, evening, Christian, and other specifics. When you question Google, you may want to be specific in what you’re seeking.
If you give a mom a minute to meditate, she can truly find a million other things to distract her. The opposite can also happen—she may fall asleep because she just finished doing a million things. Laughter can help to ease some of the daily stress we experience.
Take a minute, or two (or three!) to invest in your self-care. Laugh more.
Angela Verges is a native Detroiter who writes books for children and blogs about parenting experiences as she practices being a grown-up. You can find her on stage bringing laughter to others. Follow her on Instagram at writermama223, on Facebook @angela.verges or visit her website angelaverges.net.
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Almost four years into my personal journey into motherhood, I have learned that some of my challenges are wildly common. Near-constant sensory and logistical overwhelm, deconstructing of (well-intended) pre-baby idealism, hard-to-communicate grief and resentments, and the occasional dose of blinding hot rage or anxiety. My journey has also been, however, a powerful invitation to a rite of passage through and beyond what author Beth Berry calls “Motherwhelm.”