By Katy Gladwin

Families preparing for birth and baby know that there is a ton of work that goes into getting ready for a new little one to join the family.

Preparation takes thought and energy: from getting a space ready for baby, making sure you have what the baby will need, planning postpartum leave, there is much to think about. It often takes until the middle of the pregnancy to even start considering the fact that the baby will come out of your body!

This thought alone can be overwhelming, and the expectant mom may feel like all of a sudden there is so much more preparation to do to feel like she can make informed decisions and have an empowering birth. Knowing what we know about maternity care in the US, I think this reaction makes a lot of sense. Education and support is so important to getting a birth experience that feels good and builds moms up. So, we read the books. We take the classes. We try to become an expert in three months leading up to the birth— which is wonderful and essential to be informed and prepared. When the day comes, while you can do this alone, and you can count on your partner to do their best, evidence shows that having a doula, a trained labor support person, will increase your satisfaction and feelings of empowerment around your birth (read more at eveidencebasedbirth.com).

Imagine knowing all the things, having a supportive partner, and knowing that you don’t have to remember everything. Imagine knowing that someone else has eyes out for your best interests without worrying about ulterior motives. Imagine that someone is watching out for your partner as well! It can feel like such a load off your shoulders to know that there is someone there who is familiar with the process.

I have been a doula for 13 years, supporting hundreds of families, and by far the biggest reflection I get from those I’ve been honored to serve, is that they were able to focus on the work they were doing, whether laboring and giving birth or being a support person. They knew that the extraneous work was taken care of. That their space would be honored and respected. That they could trust their voices were heard, even when they weren’t able to speak loudly, or at all in the moment. This is the awesome work I get to do with families.

So, what does finding your doula look like? How do you know you’ll make a great fit? Start out scheduling an interview or consult with several different doulas. These will likely be about 30-minute meetings.Show up prepared with questions. These can be specific questions about how they practice, or what they do at births; this can also be questions to get an idea of who they are as a person. I think the way this meeting feels is often more important than the experience or skills of the doula. While you are leaning on this person to help birth go smoothly, the energy they bring into the birth room is the most important thing. You are inviting them into an incredibly sacred and intimate event, so feeling like you're happy and safe to have them there is foremost.

Example questions you might ask:

What is your general philosophy around birth?
What kind of comfort measures do you use most often?
When will you join us in labor?
How long do you stay with us?
How do you advocate for your clients?

There is a doula for everyone, and while getting recommendations from friends who have used a doula is an amazing way to get names and know those doulas are good at their jobs, you really need to make sure that you mesh well with your doula. This is why I suggest always talking to a few doulas—even if you think you know who you will hire. You may be surprised and connect amazingly with a newer doula who you interviewed on a whim (because their energy made you feel safe and at ease).

What might a doula relationship look like?

Most doulas will offer text/phone/email support from the time they are hired. This means you can reach out whenever you have non-medical questions or concerns, or when you have to make decisions and you just want someone to work out all the pros and cons with. If your brain is spinning in the middle of night, drop them a text. If you’re heading to your care provider appointment and feel like you want to ask the best questions while there, just call and you can get a list together.

Often there will be scheduled meetings or prenatal visits. During these visits you might discuss what you learned (or didn’t learn) in your comprehensive childbirth class, discuss and build a birth-plan—including all your expectations and desires—as well as discuss plan b, c, and d. You may talk about comfort measures, what to expect at the hospital, and what postpartum looks like. This is a lot of information to cover: I find I usually need at least three to four hours to discuss all this stuff, so I’m prepared to best support my clients.

As labor begins, communication will increase and build until in-person support feels best. From that point your doula may join you and often stay until baby arrives, offering support and advocacy as you do the awesome work of helping your baby be born. This is the time they will be reminding both you and your birth team of your desires, offering comfort measures, and calm support.

Once your baby is born, they continue to hold space for those magical hours as you and your baby get to know each other, continue to advocate, and make sure all your questions and concerns are answered. There is often an organic moment, when leaving feels right, allowing your little family unit to have some quiet, unobserved time, and maybe a really a good nap.

In the days after birth, your doula will continue to be available, to answer questions, normalize newborn antics, notice when things feel abnormal, offer general support, and quickly get you referrals to specialists as needed. Your doula is still available 24/7 for you into those first days, and maybe weeks, as you navigate new parenthood.

While the evidence is clear that inviting a doula into your birth can increase satisfaction and feelings of empowerment, as well as decrease interventions, this is a very personal choice. Having a safe space to birth your baby is paramount. Making sure your doula, any other guests, care providers, and location of birth all feel safe is truly important. This isn't a choice to rush, and I encourage you to spend some time feeling into these decisions and trusting your intuition.

I wish you a beautiful birth.

Katy Gladwin is a Board-Certified Integrative Health Coach for Women, empowering women to regain or learn to trust their wise body and self. She is also a Holistic and Intuitive Birth Doula, Childbirth Educator, and Consultant. She has been supporting and empowering families for 13 years, through education, emotional support, and faith that our bodies know how to heal, if we can just listen. She lives in the woods in Ypsilanti with her partner and two children. You can find her at SacredRootsHealing.org.