By Debra Metler MSW, CHC
Sitting alone in the dark in the back row of a movie theater, I sobbed relentlessly. I had just watched the movie IF. IF stands for Imaginary Friend. The movie was about adults reuniting with imaginary friends from their childhood at critical times in their life. The adults were transformed by acknowledging their previously discarded imaginary friends and became so much happier, creative, and productive. This movie touched me deeply. Perhaps my fearful inner child had come out of hiding for a moment looking for help. Or maybe I secretly hoped an old friend from my past would come back to rescue me. Following that experience, I became interested in learning more about imaginary friends and their relationships with adults.
Imaginary friends are an important and generally accepted part of many children’s lives. They provide comfort in times of stress, companionship during lonely times, and can often be dependable friends in a difficult world. Adults are generally comfortable with the idea of imaginary friends for their children. Do you remember your childhood imaginary friend?
Did you know that, according to the internet, some adults also have imaginary friends? Maybe even more adults have secretly retained their imaginary friends but don’t like to talk about them in public. Imaginary friends are a good thing. Studies show that adults need imaginary friends to add playfulness and creativity to their lives as much as children do. Imaginary friends can provide a sense of companionship for adults who might be feeling lonely and isolated. Adults can find that having an imaginary friend improves their sense of humor and stimulates their imagination. Imaginary friends can help adults cope with stress. They can be helpful for rehearsing difficult conversations and confronting fears. Talking to an imaginary friend can help with self-reflection and decision making. Imaginary friends can even help with creating deeper connections in real relationships.
On another level, imaginary friends can help adults heal their inner child. The inner child represents our true, authentic self before the influences of societal expectations, conditioning, and the pressures of adulthood set in. An imaginary friend embodies our natural curiosity, creativity, spontaneity, and emotional vulnerability. We must embrace our vulnerabilities, heal old wounds, and integrate the wisdom and authenticity of our inner child into our adult lives. Having an imaginary friend as an adult can help us heal our inner child by providing an avenue for self-expression, emotional release, and exploration.
Play is just as important for adults as it is for children. Adult play can boost your creativity, sharpen your sense of humor, and help you cope better with stress. Anything you do recreationally that brings you joy, or excitement, counts as playing, whether it’s talking to imaginary friends, playing sports or games, doing hobbies, dancing, or anything else you enjoy.
Imaginary friends are more prevalent than people would expect. Many famous people, including writers, artists, and other creatives, have had imaginary friends or spoken about creating imaginary worlds. Alan Moore, a comic book writer, speaks with imaginary friends and characters to improve his writing. Edgar Allan Poe’s imaginary friend “Jupiter” was a great source of comfort and inspiration in his troubled life. Emily Bronte and her siblings created elaborate imaginary worlds with fictional countries, characters, and stories. These imaginative exercises shaped their writing styles. Stan Lee’s imaginary friends and vivid imagination built the fantastic worlds that eventually became the Marvel Universe. Christopher Robin Milne had imaginary friends in the stuffed animals of Winnie the Pooh and Tigger which became the basis for some very famous characters.
Following all of my research about imaginary friends and play for adults, I learned to create group, and individual, Imaginary Friend Revivals to help people reconnect with the playfulness of their inner child. I established Guffaw University to give structure to my plan and add to the fun. Guffaw University’s primary purpose, in addition to reuniting adults with imaginary friends, is to focus on bringing playfulness back into the lives of adults. When adults learn to channel their childlike playfulness into their daily lives, magical things can happen. Their creativity resurfaces, their imagination is unleashed, and life becomes more colorful. Reconnecting with past imaginary friends and/or creating new imaginary friends as an adult are important steps in the process of unleashing the imagination and healing the inner child.
I’ve become especially playful since I’ve become a senior. I’ve found that people really don’t notice me anymore and I can get into some (innocent) trouble when needed. Following an overly-serious mini career as a Social Worker, I took on many entrepreneurial endeavors leading to my present day situation as a Certified Health Coach which qualifies me to glare at people while they eat unhealthy foods. I love being a member of the legendary, Moist Lips and Chapped, musical comedy band with my son, David. I’m trying not to get old too fast, and my imaginary friend and I enjoy watching turkey and deer families walk through my yard.
Debra Metler is a Clinical Social Worker and Certified Health Coach living in West Bloomfield. She’s married with three grown, hilarious children and one incredible cat. Find an Imaginary Friend Revival at guffaw.square.site.
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Sitting alone in the dark in the back row of a movie theater, I sobbed relentlessly. I had just watched the movie IF. IF stands for Imaginary Friend. The movie was about adults reuniting with imaginary friends from their childhood at critical times in their life. The adults were transformed by acknowledging their previously discarded imaginary friends and became so much happier, creative, and productive. This movie touched me deeply. Perhaps my fearful inner child had come out of hiding for a moment looking for help. Or maybe I secretly hoped an old friend from my past would come back to rescue me. Following that experience, I became interested in learning more about imaginary friends and their relationships with adults.