By Michelle McLemore

Photography by Joni Strickfaden

The life cycle of a butterfly is understood by most people: Butterfly lays eggs, a baby caterpillar called “larva” is born, eats a bunch, forms a cocoon (a chrysalis) and the creature gets renamed “pupa”; then, an adult butterfly emerges weeks or months later. Add the mating stage and repeat. Still, it is the in-between pupa stage—the literal and figurative “un-becoming” of the creature—which is arguably the most critical and yet the most downplayed, or even skipped, in explanations.

Once securely inside the chrysalis (hanging upside down, mind you, which would be a little disorienting to begin with) a very active stage begins. The caterpillar uses the same enzymes used to earlier digest food to now begin to break down its own body. In a sense, it digests itself. The caterpillar literally liquifies to the most basic cell component. Some cells and tissues regrow into the new butterfly body. Other parts remain goo and settle to the bottom of the sac no longer necessary or helpful for the new, beautiful flying life form.

The Diamond Approach, as taught and practiced by Lou Weir at the Ridhwan School in Ann Arbor, can be likened to the pupa stage of metamorphoses. It is a cognizant, individualized, un-becoming process through active inquiry (psychologically and emotionally). It is a process which transforms students to becoming their most beautiful, authentic selves.

I met Weir for coffee on a temperate sunny day to learn more about him and this unique approach to personal growth. Though traffic and people hummed about us, Weir’s presence was of utmost calm in presence and energy. His face and expressions were gentle, eyes curious, and vocal pacing patiently thoughtful giving subtly prompting. As we talked, what started as a seemingly ethereal and abstract process became more clear. His enthusiasm for the approach was obvious and, admittedly, contagious.

What is the basis?

The Diamond Approach is partly based on the psychology premise that one’s environment and closest people shape one’s personality. In the psychodynamic theory, Sigmund Freud broke down driving forces of personality as the id, the ego, and the superego. He viewed the interplay between these three factors as the main influences driving our thoughts, actions, and beliefs.

The Id—According to Freud, this is the only personality component present from birth; it is entirely unconscious and houses the instinctive behaviors needed for a baby to demand what it needs when it needs it. Freud also claims it is the source of all psychic energy. The Id is concerned with pleasure and strives for immediate gratification. Not gaining desires can cause anxiety or brooding tension.

The Ego—This emerges from the Id as a mediator to help the Id get what it needs in a socially acceptable manner in the real world. It functions across the unconscious, conscious, and preconscious states.

The Superego—Freud believed this aspect begins to develop around age five. It internalizes the standards and ideals society, and guardians, deem right or wrong. The superego, then, is our moral compass. The conscious stores up what society and family judge as wrong. Accepting these views can cause feelings of shame, guilt, or embarrassment if we engage in actions or thoughts that run counter. A separate aspect, the ego ideal, contains standards that the individual views as good or pleasing, providing motivation for how to act in a rewardable or acceptable way.

Weir adds, “the Critic is the voice of the Superego, and it uses mostly knowledge that was acquired by a five-year-old without the wisdom and perspective of a 30, 40, or 50 year-old person.” That skews its helpfulness at times. He continued, “your super ego has appropriated your sense of right and wrong which is removed from complete connection with [inherent] wisdom. For example, the Critic might whisper, “Nice girls don’t raise their voices.” This message produced generations of women who repressed their emotions, stifled their anger, and even moderated their joy in order to be safe, soft, gentle, and consistent partners….and internal guilt if they acted otherwise.

In the ideal world, society and guardians would model and encourage love and listening to one’s true self and expression. However, society’s morals and views of what is acceptable tend to change, sometimes within weeks or days. Parents or guardians who had challenging childhoods also tend to naturally repeat behaviors with their own children perpetuating skewed or unhealthy patterns.

In one’s quest for approval, safety, love, and support, the developing child adapts his behavior to fit in or to gain what is desired—or what society implies should be desired. Weir once wrote, “Because of our love for our parents, we start to give up on parts of ourselves” because they either “don’t recognize our true nature or are even challenged by it.” The Ego begins making judgement-calls on the Id’s requests based on societal pressure. If the learned value system consistently charges the individual to act against one’s authentic tendencies, then an overlay, slowly muffles the true self. As time goes on, it becomes harder to switch between pleasing others and being true to one’s thoughts and feelings. For some, the person eventually assumes the false identity believing it is the only self. Weir mused, “We inhabit it so fully, we forget our depth. We forget who we are.” Flat, shadow selves walk around doing the day’s business, occasionally registering the soft echo of the former self. But, if it is heard, the reminder of the other self’s existence is ignored or shoved down further and de-rationalized.

So, with no time to review if/when we are choosing authentically, the Critic in one’s head, establishes a more prominent residence. “It will use all your knowledge to try to ‘restrict’ and ‘guide’ you,” Weir warned. Yet, there may be a feeling of misalignment or a general lack of joy despite having an adequate job, family, and decent health. Weir pointed out that “Eastern teachers are often surprised about how much self-loathing meditators in the West actually feel. Time is spent looking at the sources of the self-hate.”

During the average lifetime, some may have a major life event or crisis causing interventions with a counselor, psychologist, psychiatrist, family, or friends. With professional assistance we may begin to hear the internal nudges as our true self continues to try to reach our conscious brain. Will X, Y, or Z be helpful and healthful? Does this feel right or wrong?

Some of us will make slight corrections based on when we make the time to listen to this soft voice. However, complete honesty with one’s self can be challenging and sometimes scary. After living any level of an inauthentic life for any length of time, the thought of deconstructing one’s belief system in the hopes of finding a better, more peaceful existence might sound potentially fruitless. Who has the time and energy for that?

Perhaps a better question is, “Who doesn’t have the time and energy for that?” The un-becoming of a less-than-true individual may be messy, like a slow self-digestion and rebuilding process. Yet, in the Diamond Approach, one is not alone nor left as potential prey to large birds or random bullies with sticks who may badger the life under transformation.

How does it work?

Through meditation, one learns how to become comfortable with quiet time and focus on the internal self. What is thought and felt in the mind, body, and spirit? A second facet involves a supportive listener, teacher, or group of long-term, dedicated students. Reflective questions and in-person presence nurture a student to explore her own thoughts, beliefs, and emotions from past and present times. Weir explains that unlike in a counseling session, “we are not trying to solve anyone’s problems. The goal is to look deeper. There is no preset agenda.”

Through this personal, unrushed process, it is the student who chooses what memories, feelings, and sensations to follow. The next step is to personally explore causes, reactions, and meanings. Weir explained, “When working with a teacher one-on-one, there might be some prompts to help: How do you experience this in your body? Let yourself feel the whole feeling and allow it to be there without pushing it away. See what else is here. How did that develop?” The orientation is to keep the inquiry in the present moment rather than just telling a story. Taking your time to be totally with the experience is another way into this.” Per the Diamond Approach website, a student “goes through purification, clarification, and detachment of the events.”

Weir added, “The aim is toward different parts of personality and why we shy away from them. It requires vulnerability.” However, the beauty is “being present to these undigested places allows us to bring our current wisdom to them.” How many of our inner children need hugs, reassurance that they did not—and could not—do anything to deserve abuse, isolation, or neglect?

“Based on inquiry, the work activates people’s wisdom, emotions, and history.” When asked the context of ‘history’, Weir clarified: “The school policy is that there is plenty to work on in this lifetime, no need to take on past lives at this point.”

Read related article: Sustaining Our Spiritual Journeys

A third major part of the Diamond Approach’s chrysalis stage is guidance through The Map of how the “created”-self developed. The founders of the Diamond Approach developed a psychological, emotional, and mental map to spiritual enlightenment. A student chooses a category, such as compassion, to guide introspective experiences. “In examining the quality, we explore if there is a limitation of it. Is something blocking it? In looking at barriers to realization, the barriers fall away,” Weir summarized. “Our map includes many places where the ‘personality’ covers up our essence: anger over strength and aliveness, willfulness over true will, hatred over peace and power are just a few instances.”

Working through the entire map, one piece at a time, ensures maximum growth, discovery, and transformation similar to the deconstruction and reconstruction that the one-day butterfly undergoes. Weir continued, “The goal is not to transcend the self, but to metabolize any stuck places—any parts not of ultimate truth. The created, or fictional self is the biggest block to awakening. By refining and sharpening our personality, we understand we are expanded awareness. Personality leads less in our decision-making and behavior, allowing Essence to shine through.”

Ridhwan School founder, Hameed Ali, is quoted on the website, explaining the process is ultimately to look at the true nature of reality. “And what is reality without the people or the individual consciousness that knows it?” Developing a non-dualistic view of reality allows the truth that all is connected… “that everything is luminescence and transparent. The true self has no pain, no suffering. Pain is a surface phenomenon.” Weir further explained, “The psychodynamic work refines the understanding and reveals the obscurations of the soul to its deepest nature. Much of that works with presence to uncover barriers and unconscious blocks. As the essential nature of the individual is revealed and experienced, then more and more the tendency is for the being to rest in the non-dual [state of understanding].”

As blocks are removed and perspectives shift, “experiences of the mystery of presence can seem magical, such as the opening to the energy of the essential qualities, and the kind of deep non-verbal communication which can occur between attuned individuals,” Weir added. “The true qualities of our nature, love, intelligence, peace, compassion, and many other undefiled qualities of our spiritual nature, show through more and more. As we are guided more by our essence, we are more able to connect with the beauty and mystery of life,” Weir wrote in the Crazy Wisdom Community Journal (December 2017 pp 78-79).

How long is the process?

Just as the transformation from caterpillar to moth or butterfly can vary from weeks to months, each participant’s journey is personalized. There is no “ta da” set graduation date. Inquiry advances solely at the behest of the individual’s strength and self-inquiry. The first year of commitment, ten sessions are required. In following years, a minimum of six sessions are deemed necessary for continued, consistent growth.

Who does it work for? When doesn’t it work?

Weir admitted, “It is on-going work and can resolve some personality issues as they become less impactful…if the person stays in the work. Yet, many tend to run or change groups just as they are nearing the more difficult work or tougher questions of self-inquiry. However, others, like myself, stay committed to their groups for 10-20 years.”

He continued, “It takes courage to look at different places in one’s own life. If you can’t be honest and vulnerable, it won’t develop. It is important to emphasize, there is no judgement and no competition. You see and let others explore without jealousy of their experiences or rate of transformation. You can’t hurry the process nor fake it.”

How did the approach come to be?

Hameed Ali and Karen Johnson founded the Ridhwan School for Spiritual Development in 1976. Based in Berkely, California, it is dedicated to helping students realize the True Nature and (per The Diamond Approach website) further still “to endless enlightenment.” Ali has formal training in Physics, Johnson in Psychology, and both were inspired to explore spirituality and the connectivity of all life.

(Hameed Ali’s pen name is A.H. Almaas, and Almaas has written numerous books on spiritual development, such as The Diamond Approach, The Elements of the Real in Man, The Unfolding Now, The Pearl Beyond Price, Facets of Unity, Love Unveiled, and The Point of Existence. These books have long been available at Crazy Wisdom Bookstore.)

The Diamond Approach is now offered in 19 countries with 237 teachers world-wide, 112 in the United States. Lou Weir is the only registered teacher of the Diamond Approach in Ann Arbor. The only other location in Michigan is in Leland, with Bob Balla and Jeanine Mamary as the teachers (though they have been closed to new members for about 15 years). There are also teachers in Chicago and Wisconsin.

Lou Weir as Student, Teacher, and Writer

Lou Weir started out on a different path. In 1981. Weir graduated from Cooley Law School (now Western Michigan). He worked for a colleague for five years and then began his own practice. During that time, he recognized a dissonance between the values and driving forces he was witnessing in the legal profession with something internal. He began exploring the Diamond approach. He has been a member of the Ridhwan school since 1995 and was ordained in 2017 as a Diamond Approach teacher.

“I began making course corrections over the years and had a very satisfying practice.” After 35 successful years in the legal system, he retired, and he’s had more time to focus on being a Ridhwan instructor.

“We grow up thinking we are separate selves—conditioning caused this. It’s a normal part of development. However, our view is there is further recognition as true being, beyond time and space, untainted by personal decisions. You study the self and then understand the connection to all reality. Part of my mission is to bring this work to Ann Arbor. Teachers of the school regularly travel from their homes to Australia, California, and to Europe to teach. It is an international school with an estimated 5-6,000 students world-wide.” There are approximately 60 ongoing students, counting the closed group which meets in southeast Michigan, and new people interested around Ann Arbor.

More training came in 2005 when Weir completed Teacher Training for Vipassana Insight Meditation with Ann Arbor’s Deep Spring Center for Meditation, and with its founding teacher, Barbara Brodsky. He has also participated in Zen meditation retreats through the Ann Arbor Zen Temple. Weir explained, “Meditation is the foundation of my life. I enjoy supporting people and working with the meditative practice.”

In 2012, Weir co-founded Insight Meditation Ann Arbor with his wife, Susan, and other volunteers. It is a practicing site for Vipassana meditation. As a 501c3 non-profit, it is volunteer-managed and membership led. The group offered once-a-month sittings until the onset of Covid, then they offered online sittings followed by a short talk or sharing, Sundays at 10 AM. These are ongoing with in-person hybrid meetings expected in the next few months depending upon the course of the pandemic.

Lou and Susan Weir enjoy living in Ann Arbor. Susan has a craft and supplies on-line business and has shared Weir’s passion and studies of meditation for many years. Susan, herself, began teaching meditation in 1999. She taught at Deep Spring Center of Ann Arbor from 1999 to 2012, and her own Zen practice is grounded in the Dharma and Vipassana meditation. Though currently on a teaching sabbatical, she continues to study and practice meditation.

The Weirs have two grown sons: Marshall is a computer programmer, and Quentin has his own company with 20 employees making hand-crafted items for roleplaying games. Their newest addition to the family is a kitten named Tycho (after the 15th century astronomer). Relaxing into a huge smile, Weir admits, “I am besotted with it.” Weir’s other interests include tennis, hiking, and backpacking.

When asked what his latest “work” looks like, Weir described three main aspects of involvement: “I teach meditation, sit with people examining the present moment, and present to groups about The Diamond Approach and The Map.”

Weir added, “I’ve found inner work made a difference in day-to-day life. There is a real joy with being intentional with one’s life—both the big and small stuff.” Additionally, Weir guides book studies, writes, and offers occasional weekend teachings. As drastically different as the caterpillar is from the developed butterfly (different leg lengths, life goals, and so forth), it is interesting to note scientists have proven that memories experienced as a caterpillar can be carried over to the adult stage. As much transformation as happens during the chrysalis stage, strong emotions and memories are not lost. It is another mystery of Nature which speaks volumes to the power of our emotions and perceptions.