Random Acts of Kindness: International Neighbors--Sisters From All Around the World

By Madeline Strong Diehl

When Eunkyun “Nana” Oh first joined International Neighbors (IN), an Ann Arbor-based nonprofit, in fall 2019, she knew she had finally found a way to feel like she belonged to the community. “It’s difficult for foreigners when they first come here,” she explained. “Especially for women who come here to support their husbands and children. Maybe in Korea they are important. But I talked to one Korean woman who said when she first came here, she thought to herself: “I am nothing here. I am like dust.”

Nana is now one of thousands of women who have benefitted from the diverse programming and activities of IN, an organization started informally in 1958 by an Ann Arbor woman who became aware that an increasing number of foreign-born wives of students and professors were arriving in town and feeling isolated and alone. The group officially became a nonprofit in 1963, and any woman can join. As the group’s website explains: “The women who participate in International Neighbors are called Newcomers or Neighbors. Newcomers are women from other countries who are new to this area. If a Newcomer lives in the area for more than a few years, she automatically becomes a Neighbor and offers friendship and support to Newcomers.”    

When I first met Nana last fall, I could tell immediately that she is the kind of person who jumps into everything with great enthusiasm, and that has been true for her involvement with IN since she joined. We met on a beautiful day at Yoon’s Korean bakery and Nana drank boba, or “bubble tea,” a drink that originated in Taiwan. It’s made with black tea, milk, ice, and tapioca pearls that sink down to the bottom of the glass. Nana was wearing black jeans, a black and white striped top, and tennis shoes. When I asked her where I could find the best boba in town, she replied: “Well, now that I’ve tried this place, this is my new favorite!” She explained that all Koreans in college must become fluent in English and choose an English name to use during lessons in English classes. She took the name “Nana” because it is a simple and easy to pronounce form of “Nanna,” the name of the main character from a Korean fairy tale for adults. “In Korean, the name ‘Nanna’ means I am who I am,” Nana explained. “But I never would have chosen ‘Nana’ if I had known that it meant ‘grandmother’ in English!” 

When Nana joined IN in fall 2019, she says she loved singing in the music group and participating in the book discussion group with women from all around the world. Unfortunately, Nana was only able to participate in person for about six months before the pandemic hit in March 2020. Because of the pandemic, she also hasn’t been able to see her family in Korea since she said goodbye to them at the airport when she boarded a plane in March 2019 to move to the U.S.—and Ann Arbor—permanently.

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Nana had already lived in Ann Arbor for two years beginning in fall 2013 after receiving a full scholarship from her government to study in a master’s degree program at Eastern Michigan University. She came as the single mother of a thirteen-year-old son. She already had fourteen years of experience teaching English to middle and high school students in Korea, and the scholarship provided her with an opportunity to learn how to use theater and drama to engage students in a more compelling way. 

Once she completed her master’s, Nana was obligated to return to Korea and teach for at least four years there. But by then her life had gotten more complicated because she had fallen in love with an American named Dave. “We met at a bowling alley,” she laughs as she relates the love story that took many twists and turns before Nana and Dave finally ended up getting married in Hawaii in February 2016—about two and a half years after they met at a 2013 Meet-Up Halloween event.

During their courtship, after Nana returned to Korea in February 2015 to fulfill her teaching obligation there, she and Dave flew back and forth between the United States and Korea a total of sixteen times in four years before Nana was able to return to the U.S. for good. “We just threw money into the sky so that we could see each other,” Nana said.

Once Nana joined IN in the fall of 2019 the members of her music group stayed in touch through the pandemic by walking together and exchanging emails. In fall 2020 Nana told Lisa, a close friend from the group, how much she missed her family because she could not fly to spend Chuseok with them—Korea’s three-day celebration of the harvest. And one day during the holiday Nana was surprised when she came outside her door and found a beautiful potted plant from Lisa with a note that said: “Happy Thanksgiving!”

“I cried,” said Nana. “It really made me feel like I belonged, like I was valued.”  

Now that Nana has been part of IN as a Newcomer for a couple of years, she says she thinks it’s time for her to give back and become a Neighbor. Meanwhile she organizes two Meet-up groups independently: one for Korean and English-speaking people to get together and learn about each other’s language and culture, and a second group for fans of the boy band BTS. (When I asked her what BTS was, she clutched her heart and said: “You don’t know BTS? You have to see them!”)

Nana says that when she came to the U.S. eight years ago, she never could have imagined or planned all the wonderful things that have happened to her and her son here. “Our life doesn’t go as we plan,” she said. “I just wanted my life to flow like a river, and here I am.”

During the pandemic, the IN advanced book club created a thirty-minute creative video book called “The Adventures of Ariel.” It was produced by Nana as well as a collective of seven other women who hail from Brazil, China, India, and the U.S.A. You can watch the video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bAf0cnsvPyQ

The book’s dedication: “To the great sisterhood of all women all over the world who desire to live in friendship and peace.”

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Posted on January 1, 2022 and filed under Issue #79, kindness, Life Transitions.