By Nishi Singhal
Awareness helps us understand and neutralize situations, allowing them to feel less personal. Unconscious patterns like bullying, judgment, and anger become conscious as our awareness grows. As the saying goes, “hurt people hurt people.” When awareness grows, and we become conscious of our emotions, we are more able to transcend behaviors that cause us (or others) to be hurt.
Another word for awareness is presence. Stormy clouds, aka “heavy emotions,” come and go, and becoming more aware or present will help the storms pass without allowing children to label themselves as the manifested emotion (e.g. “I am an angry person”).
As kids are learning how to function in this world, the best gift we can give them is the space to be, especially when they are feeling anger, grief, or rejection. When we can be completely present with them, it helps children see that there isn’t anything wrong with having an emotion. When we don’t react personally to their storm, they will learn that they can remain aware of the emotion on a feeling level. Asking them questions like, “Where is the feeling?” and “What does it feel like?” will help prevent the child’s mind to judge the emotion or turn into anxious thinking. It’s the emotion that feels scariest to the child and to us. Our awareness can help us see that there is nothing to be afraid of and nothing wrong with us for experiencing these feelings. The feelings are not ultimately us; they are clouds that are simply passing through.
As kids learn to be present with their stormy clouds, they are given the space to allow self-compassion to shine through. Realizing that they are okay during and after a major emotional storm.
The next time a stormy cloud shows up for your child, help them cultivate their awareness by following the steps below:
How to release a stormy cloud:
Close your eyes.
Breathe in and breathe out.
Bring your attention to your body.
Where is the stormy cloud? In your belly? Throat? Head? Legs?
Place a pillow or stuffed animal on the spot where you feel the heavy cloud.
What does the stormy cloud feel like? Mad? Sad? Hurt?
Focus your awareness on the pillow or stuffed animal and keep breathing.
Keep going until the stormy cloud has floated away!
After the stormy cloud has passed:
What did the stormy cloud feel like?
What happened when it went away?
Do you think it might come back?
Draw a picture of the stormy cloud.
Nishi Singhal is the director of the Lively Community Foundation, working to improve the mental and emotional well-being of communities. She enjoys writing the Heart & Mind books to spread the message of mindfulness to kids. She can be found at joyparade.co.
