There’s an old school pop song where the lyrics say, “The men all pause when I walk into a room.” After a certain age, those lyrics take on a whole new meaning. What I hear now is MEN-O-PAUSE. I’ve gotten Men-o-pause when I walk into a room. And that’s when I began to take a non-traditional approach to trudging through the trenches of menopause—by sprinkling it with humor.
Posts filed under Wellness
From Nature to You--Remedies for PMS and PMDD
Every month, I know when it's that time in my menstrual cycle: the time to cue up sad movies and bust out the dark chocolate. There are signs my luteal phase has arrived, and it used to make a grand entrance, but I learned ways to dampen its arrival.
Conscious Parenting: Why Teaching Kids About Presence Can Help Them Become More Resilient
The more present we become, the more we increase our capacity for joy. Learning to be present is challenging, irrespective of age. However, integrating mindfulness practices provides youth the tools to better process their feelings.
Are You Sabotaging Your Self-Care?
By Christy DeBurton
What comes to mind when you think of the term ‘self-care?’ Many people think self-care involves a lot of time or money. Others believe that self-care is selfish. These ideas are completely false. Simply put, self-care is essential for you to be the best version of yourself. It isn’t about getting weekly massages or taking candle-lit bubble baths (though these can be part of it if you choose). It isn’t about neglecting your responsibilities or ignoring the needs of others. The real essence of self-care is being true to who you are, so you are living the life that you want to live, and not the life other people want you to live. It’s about making choices from a place of love and connection rather than guilt and obligation. But that love has to start with loving yourself first—and not all of us are so good at doing that—so we end up sabotaging our self-care. A while back, I went on my own self-care journey, examining the obstacles that were getting in the way of taking better care of myself. Here are some things I learned along the way.
Give yourself permission to take time for self-care. Let’s face it, no one else will. We all want someone else to say to us, “You’ve been working so hard. You’ve been under a lot of stress. Why don’t you take the day off and just relax?” Most likely, this is never going to happen. Even if you do have someone like this in your life, ultimately you have to be the one who gives yourself permission to take time for self-care. So why do we have such a hard time doing this? Because we’ve been raised in a society that tells us we always need to be more, do more, and have more. Because we’ve been raised in families that pass down conscious and subconscious beliefs that we are not worthy, that we don’t deserve what we really desire, and that we need to take care of other people’s needs before our own. Take a moment to examine this in your own life. Do you feel obligated by certain people to do things that you really don’t want to do? Do you tell yourself you don’t have time for self-care because you just don’t feel like you deserve to take time for yourself? Or are you worried about what other people will think if you do? What kinds of messages are you telling yourself about your worthiness as a human being? Examining those conscious and subconscious beliefs is the first step. Once you’ve done that, try putting into practice either or both of these helpful techniques:
“Who says so?” Any time you catch yourself thinking that you don’t have time to relax or do yoga or some other form of self-care because you have to check off one more thing on your never-ending to-do list, question that ‘voice in your head’ by asking yourself, “Who says so?” I guarantee you will be amazed at what other voices besides your own (maybe it’s the voice of perfection, or guilt, or your mother!) you are listening to. Is listening to those voices in your best interest? What if you listened to your own voice instead? Once you’ve asked yourself this question, or separately on their own, you could ask the following two questions.
“How do I feel right now?” and “What do I need to do to take care of myself?” In my work with clients, I have come to realize that most people are not good at checking in with themselves to see how they’re feeling throughout the day. We can’t take better care of ourselves unless we take the time to contemplate how we’re feeling and what we need. Getting into the habit of asking myself these two questions has made a huge difference in my life, and I am confident it can in yours, too. I encourage you to write these questions on some sticky notes and put them in places where you’ll see them—like on your bathroom mirror, work desk, or car dashboard—throughout the day. Then, every time you see them, take a moment to pause and ask yourself how you’re feeling and what you need to do to take care of yourself. The trick is that you need to pause long enough to really ‘hear’ the answers, and then go do what you need—without apology!
I had to work at it for quite a while to get to the point where I felt comfortable making time for self-care every day, so let me be the first to say it won’t be easy. You’ll most likely get resistance from those close to you who have certain expectations. But those who truly love you and want what is best for you will understand. And those who give you a hard time? You might want to examine why you want people like that in your life.
Because I benefited so greatly from taking my own self-care journey and learning to implement techniques like the ones above, I created a compact but powerful online course, Stop Sabotaging Your Self-Care, to help others who are ready to make self-care a priority. In this course I guide you on a journey of self-discovery to examine the obstacles that stand in the way of you taking better care of yourself and teach you tools like the ones above to help you cultivate greater awareness around your self-care needs. I’ve included thought-provoking exercises, journal prompts, weekly meditation and yoga practices, and more. You can find out more about this course at yogaroomannarbor.com/online-courses-self-care.
Finally, because I found it helpful to have some supportive people tell me that I did, in fact, deserve to make time for my own self-care, let me pass that support on to you. The world needs your gifts. But you will only be able to shine if you take good care of yourself first. It doesn’t have to be anything elaborate: even taking a 15 minute walk every day can make a world of difference. I promise if you do, you will feel so much better and those around you will also receive the benefits of your new-found sense of well-being, too. You absolutely deserve it, so give yourself some time for self-care today.
Christy DeBurton is a Holistic Yoga and Wellness Educator with 25 years of experience. She helps people feel better inside and out through yoga, meditation, wellness retreats, online courses, and more. She can be reached at info@christydeburton.com.
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Compassionate Depossession and Curse Unraveling
Over the years, whenever something began showing up in my work with clients, I always looked for more information to address the issue in a knowledgeable, grounded way. That’s how I got into animal communication; that’s also what brought me to Betsy Bergstrom, a shamanic expert who has developed unique training in curse unraveling and compassionate depossession. A part of the training includes psychopomp, psycho from the Greek for “spirit” and pomp meaning “to accompany.” Basically, helping a person or animal to prepare for the transition to have a good death and a good crossing over.
Body Wisdom from Our Ancestors—Combining Trauma Informed Movement and Art Therapy
Awareness of the universal impacts of trauma on the mind, body, and society—large and small—has been growing over the past few decades. Fortunately, this awareness has promoted understanding of what type of approaches might help support healing as well. Some of these approaches were known by our earliest ancestors, including creating images, movement, dance, music, and singing. Today we call these expressive arts therapies.
Conscious Parenting: Meditation For Breakfast
I’m really good at anger; I always have been. The fight response in my threat system is ready to launch. If I wanted to slip back into my old baseline of anger in that moment, I had plenty of reasons to: I was in a rush, I was hungry, I was feeling unappreciated for the things I didn’t forget to do for my sons, I was feeling vulnerable at my son’s implication that my best wasn’t enough, and I was feeling blamed for “ruining” my son’s morning routine.
Stronger Relationships - Healthier Pets
Science has identified that the relationship between a pet and their family is mutually beneficial. Controlled research in anthrozoology has proved that pets can buffer stress, lower heart rate and blood pressure, give social support, help you stay in shape, and prevent certain types of sickness.
Tell Every Amazing Lady These Five Lessons
I am a T.E.A.L. survivor. T.E.A.L.® stands for Tell Every Amazing Lady about ovarian cancer. It is an organization (and national movement) started to help women identify signs and symptoms and urge them to seek medical help in its early stages, because ovarian cancer is often overlooked until it is too late. When it declares itself with debilitating symptoms, usually in stage III or IV, the prognosis is poor, so in an attempt to get the information out there, I share my cautionary tale.
Sustainable Health: Enhancing Detoxification-- A Path to Lifelong Wellness
The idea of enhancing detoxification to improve health has been known and practiced in the natural healthcare community for decades. Herbs, saunas, activated charcoal, juicing, and body wraps are just a few of the ways practitioners and patients have sought to rid the body of toxins and waste more efficiently. These different approaches have gone in and out of fashion, and with the advent of social media you can find any number of people claiming they’ve got the perfect shake, supplement, or potion for everyone to achieve a cleaner body. Let’s face it, some of them are scams, but the theory is sound—help the body detoxify and you’ll have more energy, clearer skin, better bowel elimination, and avoid chronic illness later in life.
Namaste Katie: Our Fall 2022 Yoga Column
Whether you're a seasoned yogi or getting ready to roll out your mat for the first time,
here you'll find a variety of useful tips from local yoga instructor, Katie Hoener.
Sick of This — Understanding Long Covid and Local Resources for Recovery
Nearly three years after SARS-COV2 emerged, we are coming to realize that acute Covid-19 disease is, for many, only the first phase of an ongoing health challenge. For a large percentage of people who have had Covid, fatigue and other symptoms last for months or even years after the initial infection. Officially known as “Post-Acute Sequelae of Covid-19 (PASC)” or “Post-Covid Conditions (PCC),” this constellation of lingering symptoms is commonly known as “Long Covid.”
Go Outside! A How-To Guide for the Urban Family
As we shiver out of another Michigan winter and into warmer weather, I am building my usual short list of activities to keep myself sane. This list has become shorter than usual due to pandemic safety precautions. Ordinarily it would include more frequent visits with extended family and more friend get-togethers. My sticky note sanity plan has become heavier on more practical reminders like “Sleep more regular hours!” “Take Vitamin D!” and “GO OUTSIDE” which is written in all caps.
Sustainable Health: Bacteria and Viruses — Essential to Human Life
Bacteria and viruses have always gotten a bad reputation in our modern society, but these microscopic microorganisms are essential to human life and can quite literally be a key aspect to our optimal health. In fact, trillions of bacteria, viruses, fungi, and other microbes live all over our bodies, with the largest concentration in our intestines.
Moving Meditations and Comparative Prayer Forms: An Exploration of Altering One's Consciousness Through Movement
One day while teaching Tai Chi—somewhere between forms—I was no longer cognizant of my body, my students, the studio, not even time! There was suddenly nothing except delightful whiteness, bliss, and an ethereal consciousness. When I came back to the immediate physical surroundings, I admitted to my students, “Ummmm I lost count. Was that two or three Part the Horse’s Mane?” We all laughed. Later, I recalled having had other similar experiences during movement as well as sitting/lying inert.
What We Can Predict
The Farmer’s Almanac predicts a colder, flakier winter than usual for those of us who live in The Mitten. Normally this would not be worth noting, but there is no “normally” anymore, and so I do note it.
Maybe I note this prediction because at a time when truth seems to be elusive, and not being prepared threatens to be deadly, The Farmer’s Almanac is a reliable source when it comes to foretelling the weather and helping people prepare. And it tips its hat to inclusivity, in that anyone is welcome to read and heed its advice—not just farmers. According to the Old Farmer’s Almanac website, it is North America’s most popular reference guide and oldest continuously published periodical.
Conscious Parenting: Supporting Mental Health During Pregnancy
From the first moment you see the two lines on the pregnancy test, a flood of feelings begins. Maybe it’s joy or surprise; maybe it’s fear and overwhelm. Whatever feelings arise, there’s no doubt about it, pregnancy is an emotional journey. Even if it’s a planned pregnancy, it’s normal to feel some ambivalence. Becoming a parent is a big undertaking.
Talking While Walking
My name is Fran Adler, and I’ve been a licensed therapist in private practice for over two decades. Over the years there have been many aspects of this work that I’ve greatly enjoyed. But, there is one thing about being a therapist that I’ve never been crazy about—too much sitting!
Restoration Through Ink
Identity, as defined by the Oxford Dictionary, is “the fact of being who or what a person or thing is.” As a society, now more than ever, the meaning of one’s identity has never been more fluid or more open to interpretation. What defines someone’s identity? The answer is different for everyone. But for those asking that question, tattoo artist Jamie Wedge at the Lovely Monkey Tattoo in Whitmore Lake is hoping to provide a solution.
Collaborative Therapeutic Massage
I view what I do as a collaboration between myself and my client—and sometimes, indirectly, between my client, other practitioners, and me. I expect my clients to work alongside me to ease their muscles, take further steps in their own healing, and work at shifting their posture.
Almost four years into my personal journey into motherhood, I have learned that some of my challenges are wildly common. Near-constant sensory and logistical overwhelm, deconstructing of (well-intended) pre-baby idealism, hard-to-communicate grief and resentments, and the occasional dose of blinding hot rage or anxiety. My journey has also been, however, a powerful invitation to a rite of passage through and beyond what author Beth Berry calls “Motherwhelm.”